Pondering & Puttering

For the past week or so I’ve found myself in one of those lovely liminal spaces where I get to really slow down and simply enjoy what arises. While I try to practice this on a regular basis anyway, there is a big difference when I don’t have external deadlines or commitments on my calendar.

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Returning Home

We have the ability to lose ourselves so easily with a thought, a word, a deed, an action. But in the losing, we leave space to be found - to find - to return.

Home. What a beautiful word filled with resonance and rich meaning. To me "home" represents the deep internal space where I am fully known. It resides in the center of fullness that is so simple and complex, it becomes wordless. Home provides shelter, warmth and comfort. It contains all of our fears, doubts and greatest joys. It is the place where we operate on all cylinders - not shutting down any area of shadow or light.

This past week I was part of an experience called "Returning Home." My role was as facilitator, but my open heart could not help but receive as participant. I returned home to Soltura (the foundation for healing and personal growth) after a break of nearly two years. The experience was reminiscent of (& profoundly in sync with) the desert time I have been following during my Lenten practice. Like the desert fathers and mothers, we committed to remove ourselves from normal lives, set aside distractions and within carefully designed boundaries find our own unique rhythm(s). In this way, we returned home.

Through experience, I discovered a fresh way to the rhythm of healing - for myself, relationships and others. Through honor and delight, the spiraling movements from deep within spread their wings into the world.

How will you commit to return home today? For yourself and thus for the world...

"port orchard heron" © ksh 3/2011

Blissed to be a Witness

I am blissed to be a witness. You read it correctly – no typo. I am BLISSED to be a witness. Last week I traveled home to the Key Peninsula, the site of Soltura workshops. No, I don’t live there physically. Seattle is still my place of residence. But, my soul returned to its bliss-filled home where joy, light, love, laughter, fear, darkness, peace, conflict, death and life can all be safely experienced…and witnessed.

As I have journeyed on my path toward authentic life, I have come to know myself and the places where I feel most alive and connected. Many of those places have been witnessed by those who read here. I find joy in the simplest of things. A jellyfish. My garden. Friends. Nature. Reading. Writing.

Yesterday while driving across Lake Washington with my i-pod shuffling around, Ben Harper’s song, Blessed to be a Witness, came on and I experienced one of those bliss-filled moments. It dawned on me that the sense of contentment that has flowed through my veins for the last week was connected to my experience of being a witness to other’s journey toward authentic living.

Witnessing life is an honor and an amazing privilege. It takes me out of a me-me-me state of mind, and in the process brings me back to my truer self. I am indeed blessed and blissed to be a witness.

This is not a totally new concept to me, but it is one of those special realization moments that I desire to share – lest I forget. So, consider yourself a witness today. ☺

What are the moments you have experienced the power of being a witness? Do share!

Peace and bliss-filled blessings to you!

"heart in the sky" 6.09 - lakebay, wa

perfect stillness

How do you capture the stillness that is God? One step onto the gravel path reverberates like the clashing of cymbals. It is a cacophony of sound against the deep, dark nothingness that surrounds me. It is nothing and it is everything. I can feel God in the air that is neither wet nor humid nor dry. It does not feel heavy and yet I am immensely aware of the air. Not a breath of wind moves through it. Perfect absolute stillness. It is God.

I tiptoe through the wet grass not wanting to break this mood. It is reverent. Holy. The pool of light from my lamp leads the way. It is absorbed into the night leaving me inside a bubble of gentle illumination. It is perfect soft light. It is holy and for a moment so am I. But I am not alone. My light has disturbed a resting goose who startles and makes it known that he is not pleased by my presence. His honks and wings in flight carry through the stillness and across the water that continues to sleep. My heart races for a moment. The goose’s call quieting long before the thump thump thump of my pounding heart.

And then it returns. The stillness. The calm. God. I tiptoe across the wet grass. My own presence disturbing me. How odd it is. I want to be absorbed into the air; the moisture; the dewy grass. I am one with the night. It is a gift. It is perfect. It is God.

my village

Home again. It has been a nice relaxing day of resting, nesting, catching up on e-mail and home stuff. The wind has been blowing like crazy and the rains have been consistent throughout the day. Right now the sun has decided to pop out and give us a little blue sky for the evening.

My life has entered an odd pattern these days. I feel kind of like a firefighter who goes to live at the station for a week and then returns home. When I am facilitating for Soltura, I know where I am supposed to be and my focus is centered on helping the participants throughout their workshop. It is intense, exhilarating and exhausting. So the challenge when I return to my home is to find the balance of what needs to be done and to what I choose to be present.

When I am facilitating, I am totally present to the participants. It is a very cool experience, because they each come looking for some kind of change in their life. I find that my gifts shine in this environment. Last week was very cool because there were four young ladies who are close in age to my son. So in many ways they were an interesting combination of my son and daughter. One of them shared her philosophy of “being raised by a village” and thanked each of us for being part of her village.

It was so wonderful to see how these women also helped “raise me” with their courage, insight, tenacity and love. It never ceases to amaze me how similar human beings are and yet how very different. The great thing is allowing ourselves to be open and see what we can learn from each other. (I think it’s great to consider relationships with an open door policy ☺.)

This evening I am tired, but content. My home is clean. My heart is in good spirits. My family is safe. And my “village” continues to expand. Blessings abound and I am eternally grateful for life as I know it.