Is meditation making me “soft?”

For the past several weeks, I’ve been practicing my call to a more formal meditation practice and have been engaging with Susan Piver’s “Open Heart Project.” (It’s fabulous, by the way, and I highly recommend checking it out no matter what your level of experience with meditation practices.) In this week’s post, she speaks about the power of sorrow and a sense of permeability that allows us to receive input in fresh new ways. As I pondered this “softness” in myself, several instances immediately came to mind...

Recently while coaching a brilliant young woman, I heard her utter the words, “I’m not pretty enough” and my heart nearly broke wide open with sorrow. I thought perhaps I would burst into tears in our session because all I notice when I’m in her presence is the sheer beauty of who she is—both inside and out. Rather than fleeing my impulse to hide my tears as she spoke, I breathed more deeply and shared with her my experience. Our mutual acts of courage and tenderness left us both sniffling for several moments as we compassionately connected.

Yesterday while walking through Seattle’s Experience Music Project with my visiting 2nd cousin, I felt myself go all soft and mushy as his twelve-year-old, slightly sweaty palms entwined with my own fingers while he guided me through the horror exhibit and led me gleefully into the “scream room.”

And, you might as well knock me over with a feather and send in the box of tissues when I receive a compliment or praise on my book, As I Lay Pondering. I continue to be humbled and thrilled as others reveal how my words are touching their lives and helping shape their days. I can’t imagine my tender emotions ever abating on this topic.

I also saw “The Artist” today and found myself with a lump in my throat as tears dripped down the heroine’s cheeks and when “The Dog” repeatedly plead for his master’s well being.

I’ve always sniffled at Hallmark commercials and wiped my tear-filled eyes when the princess finds her prince, but something about this new “softness” feels rich and strong. Piver speaks about becoming “both more resilient and more gentle.” Yes. Strong and tender. Bold and humble. Fierce and mild. Open. Willing. Able to meet the world in new ways. Colors are more brilliant. Rain feels like a gentle cloak rather than a suffocating torrent. And if there were an 8th dwarf in Snow White’s crew (and I were it), you could just call me Softie.

So, is it meditation that’s making me soft? Hmmm... I’m off to ponder if that’s the case for these feelings or perhaps they are simply the residual effects of an increasingly open heart. Whatever it is, I think I like it.

Finally... when and where do you notice tenderness in your life? Would you prefer a little more softness? Or do you hold onto the notion that tenderness is weak? What if you could be both fierce and mild in the same moment... or greet the world with Technicolor vision? Would a few minutes of meditation each day be worth the time? How might you “soften” to this experience? I’d love to know where your pondering takes you!

btw - today's photo scene was so overwhelmingly beautiful to me on a recent walk, i implored my dear husband to stop and snap the shot... just one more example of having an open heart, methinks.

I hope you'll check out... As I Lay Pondering: daily invitations to live a transformed life by Kayce S. Hughlett Available here and at Amazon.com. Get your copy today!!

Come Fly with Me

If you can imagine it, you can live it!

Part of my practice for the year has been increased attention toward a quiet meditation practice. In her book, Comfortable with Uncertainty, Pema Chodron talks about “surprise mind.” You sit down and —wham!—a rather nasty surprise arises. So be it... Then—wow!—a delicious surprise appears. Okay. This part is not to be clung to but compassionately acknowledged... and let go. The surprises are endless.

I love “surprise mind” (although it does provide some interesting challenges in meditation)! Today’s “surprise” was the birthing of Come Fly with Me. Take a moment. Stop. Breathe. Listen. Pause right now and notice if you can imagine your dreams—yes, yours—spreading out through the world on gossamer wings... reaching and extending through the soft breath of whispering clouds until they permeate the universe. Now imagine this happening at daybreak over the Sonoran desert within a vast silence punctuated only by the generated heat to fill a multi-colored balloon and the delight of playful adults on a bold adventure. Immerse yourself into this landscape and imagine your personal dream rising with the balloon. Next hear your name being whispered into the crystal blue sky. Finally witness both dream and name gently released into the world with love, grace, and delight.

Sound good? Can you feel it? Yes? Then you are personally invited to join me as I embark on a magical mystery tour over the Sonoran desert where I will be releasing beauty, love, and OUR dreams into the world. Dorothy of Kansas never made it into her hot air balloon, but I have a reserved spot to climb into mine next week... And, the surprise is that my heart is compelled to take YOU along with me. A few spirited sojourners will physically join me, but since basket space is limited, I have created another way for you to come fly with me and simultaneously support our dreams!

Flying with me is simple...

· Between now and Wednesday, March 14 @ Noon Pacific Time, send me a note requesting that I share your dream. If you want to include dream details, please keep them brief as the ride is only one hour. That’s it! No strings attached.

If you feel compelled to join the dream-sharing fun, then read on...

· My dream is for my new book As I Lay Pondering: daily invitations to live a transformed life to spread around the world and touch countless hearts and lives in meaningful ways.

You can select a way (or two) and help spread my dream...

· Purchase a copy today (for yourself or someone else).

· If you already own it, tell 5, 10, 20 + new people about it this week.

· Invite me to appear as a guest on your blog.

· Feature the book in a Facebook, Twitter or other social media post.

· Contact your favorite bookstore, gift shop, or newspaper.

· Interview me or recommend me to someone else for an interview. (I have lots to say!)

· Invite me to your locale for a book signing, workshop, or speaking engagement... and help make it happen.

· Spread the word through your own amazingly creative ways!!

... and please, please, please let me know. Your support always fills the wind in my sails!!

Dreams grow and come into reality when we share them with others. This I believe to be true. So, are you ready to Come Fly with Me and watch OUR dreams grow?

As I Lay Pondering: daily invitations to live a transformed life by Kayce S. Hughlett Available here and at Amazon.com. Get your copy today!!

Wildly Wonderful Team Encounters

“... it’s wonderful—deeply, wildly wonderful—to meet “strangers” who are up to their ears in the self-same drive to heal humans and the world.” Martha Beck

Synchronicity and/or happy coincidences are two of my favorite topics. They spread deeply within my soul from encounters with others in the most unexpected places. Last week while visiting Tulsa, Oklahoma for my book launch, I had the opportunity to meet nearly 100 people over a few days time. As I think back on the time there, I could get myself all hung up on the fact that “only” 20 arrived for the physical book reading. Or that my “friends” were caught up in busy schedules and didn’t have much time or interest in me or my visit. But as I sink into the overall experience, I realize that exactly the right people showed up at the most opportune times and “strangers” contributed to deep personal encounters and offered instance after instance that left me covered in goose bumps... or as one of my favorite Team members describes: “truth bumps.” (You can learn more about “the Team” in Martha Beck’s new book called Finding your Way in a Wild New World.)

Today I'd like to share a few examples of what it looked like for me to meet others on "the Team:"

• I met Debbie at a Cabi party as I overheard her mention a name I recognized and felt drawn to have more conversation with her. For the next several minutes, we huddled together like co-conspirators as we reveled in the things we had in common. She whispered to me after several minutes, “Have you noticed that not all people think like we do?” This came on the heels of our conversation regarding a passion toward living life more fully and authentically. (Check out her passion at happyfirst.com)

• Shonda arrived at the same event and I felt her presence before I met her. She quietly scooted in and sat down beside me and I could sense she was someone very special. Later my sister-in-law Carol (a bonafide Team member) introduced us and let me know that Shonda would be “working on me” come Monday. She is a fabulous massage therapist and body worker whose healing power moves magically through her hands.

• All-business Stephanie served us breakfast and Carol handed her a postcard inviting her to the next evening’s book reading. She returned to the table with a softened appearance and gentle candor as she confessed to a challenging existence and knowledge that this was exactly what she needed.

• Martha looked at me through teary eyes when I told her I was an accountant-turned-artist and simply said, “Will you be my counselor?”

• Suzzi and I became acquainted after our eyes locked from across the room of the coffee house where I was to read later that night. I felt compelled to go speak to this “stranger” who sat in the corner reading a book. Come to find out, she teaches centering prayer and our personal stories were so overlapped that I could only shake my head in wonder as I walked away from our 5 minute chat. (Suzzi now owns a copy of my book and I’m certain we have not seen the last of each other.)

• Dian showed up at The Coffee House on Cherry Street when a friend of hers “randomly” sent her the Facebook invitation to my event. As in the other meetings, our stories had an intertwined aspect and the synchronicities continue to grow.

• Greg may still be trying to figure out what happened when he opened the cover of my book at a meet-n-greet party and found himself captivated by the words. He thought it a fluke, so opened to another page and again was enthralled. After the third try with similar results, he pulled me aside and spent several minutes quizzing me on how I could get inside his head so completely in just a few short sentences. My hunch is that Greg is a member of the team who is newly arriving. ☺

• Amy (another friend of Carol’s) arrived at the restaurant after the reading, because she felt compelled to meet me. As I listened to her story, I knew I’d found another mate.

• There were also Deb, Will, Kelly, Renie, Scott, Britt, Jennifer, Anitra, and more...

My hunch is that if you visit this site very often then you are a member of the Team! I’d love to hear your stories of synchronicity and “random” encounters. Whaddya say, mates?

photos: Me with Martha Beck 5/11; Aslan reads "Finding Your Way"

MY NEW BOOK: As I Lay Pondering: daily invitations to live a transformed life by Kayce S. Hughlett Available here and at Amazon.com. Get your copy today!!

Leaping into Life

"it takes courage to be who you really are” e.e. cummings

The above words providentially graced the promotional postcard for my first public book reading last Saturday night in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Wow! It took more courage than I ever dreamed I had to put myself out there and LEAP into a wild new world! It only seems appropriate that on Leap Day I choose to commemorate that magnificent jump into the public limelight.

Even now my heart beats quickly and tears form in my jet-lagged eyes as I think of my precious time away. The fullness of the whole experience resonates deeply and I know that for a few moments in time I was a shining star spreading my magic into the world.

Leap Day 2008, I sat solo in a Paris café (surprising even myself) and this year I recall perching on a bar stool in the spotlight and glow of my own dreams surrounded by a rapt audience (yet one more surprise). Saturday night was amazing – terrifying – exhilarating – complete. It was absolutely perfect with the finest spectators I could imagine. This shy girl who has been known to sprout hives just thinking of speaking in public loved being on that raised stage. Woohoo! As I entered the coffee house and took my place on the platform flashes of failure and stage fright flew through my mind and body. Freeze? Flee? Or become FREE? Those seemed to be my choices... To free myself, I turned to As I Lay Pondering and offered Anyone There?—one of my most vulnerable pieces.

Will you read my work? Hold my hand? Laugh at my jokes? Kiss my lips? Notice my hair? Anyone there? Are you paying attention? Do you see me? Is it possible I still carry the look of a 1-year-old standing in her crib, reaching and searching for connection? Anyone there?

With a deep breath, I read and they were hooked. I was fully present as I slowed myself to the pace of thoughtful words. My pulse began to steady as my heart connected to my soul... and theirs. Courageously I sat all sassy in my red crocheted dress and cowboy boots surrounded by friends, family, and strangers listening to my story, and as the evening magically flowed on, “my” story became “our” story. It was an iconic event.

Who could have known I was destined to perch on a coffee house stool in Tulsa Oklahoma and launch a book that touched the heart of everyone in that room... especially my lovely sisters-in-law who became so mesmerized in the moment that they forgot their assigned tasks of photography and time-keeping, as well as my young nephews who sat tucked behind electronics? The friend I had known for over 50 years was to my right and various acquaintances and newfound soul mates filled out the audience. Even the barista offered his accolades when I finished.

It was a LEAP comprised of steps bigger than anything I could have imagined earlier in my life. One – that I would (or could) write a book; Two – that I would develop the nerve to speak in front of a crowd and become thoroughly entranced by the magic of it; and Three – I would return to the Oklahoma roots I left nearly a quarter-century ago to begin this new phase of my journey! Poet David Whyte writes, “What you can plan is too small for you to live.” How right he is!

In this special year of the Leap, what do you plan for yourself? What would you do if you had the courage to be who you really are? What does bravery look like in your life? My personal plan is to strap my parachute on tightly, ‘cuz it feels like this leap is a giant one... and I don’t want to miss a moment of it fearfully flailing away!!!

MY NEW BOOK: As I Lay Pondering: daily invitations to live a transformed life by Kayce S. Hughlett Available here and at Amazon.com. Get your copy today!!

Daily Mosaic

The morning began with a thoughtful reading and a pondering of the line: We are each small stones rolling toward the other to create one vast mosaic.* Oh, it sounded so lovely and connected in the moment. Next I engaged in my morning meditation led by the lovely Susan Piver who ended our time together with these words: May you have a day of unspeakable clarity. Ah, stones creating a mosaic... unspeakable clarity... I was set for the day... and then I opened my email.

Greeting me I found a sweet response from a dear friend, the usual spam and inspirational messages, and a note from CreateSpace letting me know that my Kindle-ready format of As I Lay Pondering was ready for preview. Yay! The long-awaited version I had enlisted the professionals to help create. Ready. Set. Drum roll, please. Open file... Gasp. No. Say it isn’t so. Ugh. Boo. Hiss. It looks like an illiterate chimpanzee designed the tablet. (My apologies to the chimpanzee.) Seriously? This is what I jumped through hoops to enroll in, paid good money for, and waited WEEKS to receive? It is no better than the free test copy I uploaded myself before I decided to turn it over to the “experts.” What ever was I thinking? My next question was what were they thinking? – (although I said it in slightly more professional terms.)

Their response: “I am sorry to hear that your Kindle Edition is not appearing as you expected.” Seriously? Whatever... Next came rote instructions about how they would be getting back to me along with details of how to contact a person immediately. Trying to stay calm, I followed their instructions verbatim and pressed the button that said, “Call us.” Pressing. No response. Pressing again. Still no response. My beautiful day's mosaic was swiftly turning into a jumbled mess. My “unspeakable clarity” was raging in words I dare not put into print. Name calling. A vicarious temper tantrum. Even an out loud bellow in the car on my way to the dentist. Yes, the dentist. A banner day all around.

What was I thinking? Stones rolling toward the other to create one vast mosaic? It feels like a boulder is pressing in on me at top speed and I will soon be flattened like a character in an old school cartoon. My inner dialogue begins... Breathe. Shut up. Breathe. I hate breathing. Relax. Don’t want to. Turn your ugly thoughts around. I don’t wanna! Meditation? Boo hiss. Peace and contentment? Give it to someone else. Knock out the Kindle-version myself? I’d rather knock out the Kindle creator right now!

Several hours elapsed... still no response from Kindle... The day only got more ludicrous, but I will spare you the details for now. Please know, however, I resorted to drastic measures and indulged in sugar cookies (which I did savor) and a tad bit of (necessary) retail therapy in order to move forward. To heck with Polly Positive... Some days a girl just needs to vent!

Chuckle chuckle... as I imagine my readers gasping that my positive outlook has been displaced by a computer glitch. You mean you get upset? I can hear them saying. I had no idea you set up expectations and then got disappointed. Are you kidding? All the time! And then the dialogue begins again between my inner sage and petulant child. Practice. Maybe. Keep rolling. I’ll try. Pondering? It might be worth a go. Vent and rage? Absolutely.

Today's mosaic lesson? Being fully human may just comprise the best stones for unspeakable clarity. Hmmmm. Now what to do about those Kindle people?

*from As I Lay Pondering, "Mosaic"

photos from Casa Battlo, Barcelona

MY NEW BOOK: As I Lay Pondering: daily invitations to live a transformed life by Kayce S. Hughlett. Available here and at Amazon.com. Get your copy today!!