The Battle continues...

While my recent posts have focused on the darker aspect (here and here), the reason there is a battle is because of two seemingly opposing sides. There is so much to consider and ponder in this world (an understatement, I know.)

In the midst of considering evil's role, there is still a place of light that shines through. The past two days have been filled with a rhythm of rest and restoration for me. The sun has been shining which always seems to help my clarity of mind...or at least my attitude about things. I have found joy in the simplest of things: cleaning my closet, taking my dog to the vet, restocking some groceries, watching a young squirrel in the fall leaves, seeing the turtles sunning themselves at Greenlake and best of all feeling the sun and wind on my skin while driving about in my little convertible with each of my family one at a time. The world has been bathed in a beautiful fall light, so I was not in the least surprised when I took this little quiz found at Abbey of the Arts and discovered that "I am the Sun."

Momentarily sitting in the Sun is a nice, warm place to be...especially when the rains threaten to return and the battle rages all around. More on that later...

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

The Battle

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” --Genesis 50:20

Sometimes the battle between good and evil feels so strong it is almost incapaci-
tating. Is that the goal of evil--
to incapacitate?

There is so much to consider in each seemingly small verse like the one above. I understand that the brothers (the "you") intended to harm Joseph in this story. They are human. But where I get hung up is God’s place in the whole scene. Did God “intend” for Joseph to suffer all those years so that many could be saved? The thought of imposed suffering for the good of others leaves me cold. It is a topic I have been wrestling with of late.

My last week was filled with an array of emotions and powerful experiences. I watched transformation of souls occur before my very eyes. I experienced it for myself. I felt the power of God in nature and witnessed it in the rain, wind and hail. I saw eagles soar and light shine on trees like something in a painting. Miracles were all around. And, I could sense a battle to stop this good from happening.

Does the heat get turned up when God’s work is being done? Who turns up the heat? God? Satan? The Universe? Me? Many questions bounce through my mind for which I have no answers. I feel like I could try to ignore them and hope they go away or I could become absorbed with them and thus paralyzed from moving forward.

The balance for me is in being aware and willing to wrestle with the thoughts. Even making a small start and putting a few words on paper brings me hope. Not that I will necessarily come up with the answers, but that I will continue to move, to choose life, to reach for the light rather than become absorbed by darkness.

I choose to wrestle. How about you? What does your wrestling look like today?

photo by bill

Guest House

I have been away for a few days only returning last evening. My desire is to connect and touch my friends through this space, but I am feeling the need to stay with myself for a bit longer. Nevertheless, this poem greeted me today and it speaks much to where I am. So, this is my offering for the day along with this fabulous new photo by bill.

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

-Rumi

oh painter grand - #2

more dreams...

I am the spinning hay
the air through the trees
fearless bear
golden
hopeful
solid & steadfast
earth meets water
combining. uniting
making mud not mire

I am the fire in the basement
the hidden room
the arc of the sky
going to the highest heights
and plumbing the depths inside
brave
fearless
God is with me
the painter’s pallet is broad and wide

photo borrowed from shelby

oh painter grand

...the dreams continue.

spinning round through fields of gold
the painter by my side
will the convertible transform
or simply take me for a ride?

chains for boundaries—protection or harm
who is the faceless man?
angel bear floats by my side
am i doing all i can?

orange-tipped rose hints of passion
does mud speak merge or mess?
will we grow like the mighty oak?
will we survive this test?

my forehead creases into question
the tree stands by my side
gold prevails and covers earth
while water tries not to hide

oh painter grand with pallet broad
where are we going now?
the golden hues command my life
few droplets here to wet my brow

the road marches on
the path is so varied
must i walk it alone
or shall i be carried?

dream collage by lucy