Live it to Give it Interview with Writer Carolyn Riker

facilitated by Kayce Stevens Hughlett

This week's Live it to Give it interview is with poetic writer Carolyn Riker. Carolyn and I made our initial acquaintance via Facebook when a friend referred her to my recent "Awakening the Muse" workshop. Since that time, I've enjoyed seeing what she's up to with her writing and the inspirational nuggets she shares each day. Carolyn is a woman who caught my attention and made me want to know more about how she lives and what motivates her as a woman and writer. She graciously accepted my invitation to chat here and I'm excited to share what she has to say. 

Kayce: Today's reading (February 19) in As I Lay Pondering is about the transformational journey and includes a brief discourse on the Hindu spiritual attribute of Abhaya (fearlessness).

"To pursue this way of freedom is to seek fear or befriend it. It is to look deeply into oneself and one's vulnerability and come to recognize and face fear. By so doing, fear is no longer empowered through avoidance." As I Lay Pondering

Carolyn, I wonder if you could share a place in your life where you're being called to "befriend fear" and how you've been enriched through the process?

Carolyn:  Thank you so much for inviting me to this lovely forum! I am definitely in the process of ‘befriending my fears.’ At first read, I laughed out loud because it seems that’s all I’ve been doing these last few years; embracing and facing a series of life transitions all riddled with fear. Stepping into my fears and moving forward is liberating. It’s like I’m hearing Sara Bareilles singing Brave all the time.

A favorite quote by Joseph Campbell also comes to mind, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” In a metaphorical sense, I’m marrying my fears and creating a relationship with the Sun (light) and Moon (dark) sides of me.

The timeliness of your question about the Sanskrit term, Abhaya, fascinates me as well. The murdra associated with Abhaya symbolizes: protection, peace and scattering of fear. I’m holding out my hand to myself and saying, “Go away to the fear…protect this space and bring peace to my heart.”

A little over a year ago I started writing again. Mostly, in a personal journal, but then one night, I decided to send a story to an online magazine, followed by a poem to another…and to my joyful surprise, I got published. I was terrified my words were inadequate. Self-doubt and fear are shadow sisters.

Living in fear is paralyzing but stepping out of it is freeing (scary too) because the spotlight shows my vulnerability. I was and still am facing my fears as I share more from my heart. Some of my earlier writing is incredibly raw and rough. As I sort through life transitions I am repeatedly spun around to analyze my introspective nature and find answers.

I sometimes have to walk next to fear and wait for the shadows to dissipate. The shadowy areas are full of information and the light always comes to help me sort through it. The light comes in different ways too. Friends, synchronistic messages and your workshop, “Awakening the Muse,” for example, was absolutely amazing and came at the right time. I had to face my fear of reading my words aloud and in front of people. Scared me to pieces and yet it stretched me. By the end of the day, it was a little easier. I faced yet another fear.

Kayce: Beautiful musings on shadow and light. Thank you!

I am fascinated with the uniqueness that each of us brings to the world and our innate ability to impact the world for good. So, please tell us… what do you believe is your unique calling in the world and how do you share it with others?

Carolyn: I’m tapping into my dharma more readily than ever. My love for writing has developed new taproots. Teaching has been a steady heartbeat since my teen years and now I’m working on renewing my counseling license.

A wise friend recently shared with me, “Why focus on one area? Try tying it all together and see what happens.”

I really liked that suggestion. I am more than one thing and rarely have I fit into a certain prototype. I sincerely love to give and help people find their voice. When I work with children, I so enjoy highlighting their unique giftedness. I intensely love seeing people succeed in their work and supporting them. I firmly believe we can support each other.

Another percolating has been finding personal balance to prevent burnout. In the past, I gave too much and therefore become depleted. I’m learning to feed my spirit with gentle yoga, eating healthy, writing, solitude and trusting my intuition. When something doesn’t feels quite right, it usually isn’t good for me. It’s taken me decades to realize this.

Kayce: I'm always happy to hear from people who are seeking balance and preventing burnout. We need to nurture these practices just as we do other areas in our life!

In closing, I’d love for you to tell the readers what live it to give it means to you?

Carolyn: Wow, Kayce, I love your questions because I’m being stretched to think outside of a sphere…boxes have so many ‘right’ angles. (smile).

I live to be who I am and in that I can give from my heart. This is a place of being authentic. Freedom to be myself and not controlled by others.

An immense wet blanket of conformity has been lifted. When I finally got that I can 'live it AND give it' the negative influences started to leave me alone. Now, there is a lightness in the air (i.e., in universal love, trusting friendships and kindness). This sparks and has restored my inner flame.

Kayce: Your flame has indeed been restored, both inner and outer!! Thank you so much for your candor today and offering words that other seekers can relate to.

Carolyn Riker is a tutor and teacher, writer and a poet who finds comfort and balance in her kids, nature, music and her sweet cat Copper. She can be seen sipping soy lattes and nibbling on dark chocolate. Introspective, forthright, an advocate for kindness and compassion as she intertwines life with yoga, meditation and finds friends of similar truths.

She is a regular contributor to Rebelle Society, http://www.rebellesociety.com/author/carolyn-riker/,

Journey of the Heart: Women’s Spiritual Poetry Blog http://womenspiritualpoetry.blogspot.com/ and elephant journal, http://www.elephantjournal.com/author/carolyn-riker/.

Recently published in Integral Yoga Magazine, Fall-2013 and one of her essays was selected and included in, Best of Rebelle Society, Vol. 1. Book published December 2013. Carolyn's social media vice is Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Carolyn-Riker/