Scattered Words of Overwhelm & Wisdom
Wednesday, February 13, 2013 at 11:30 AM 
This week I’m traveling with one of those rare opportunities to decide whether my trip will be work or vacation. I’ve left behind my home duties of cooking, cat tending, and regular schedules and replaced it with hours of open space and infinite possibilities while my sweetie immerses himself in a photography workshop. Sounds heavenly, right?
Nonetheless, all this spaciousness is proving to be somewhat of a challenge for me. My husband is experiencing something similar with his photography. The landscapes here are vast and beautiful… so much so, in fact, that it’s difficult for the eye (or camera) to find a place to land. I, too, am finding it challenging to find a place to land. One thing, however, that keeps rising up for me is a desire to write something… anything… or nothing. (See what I mean about the inability to land?)
Often the sheer act of taking one teeny tiny step is enough to propel me forward, so today I’m choosing to write this post. Since I’m feeling personally uninspiring, I thought I'd share some of the inspirational mentors I'm leaning on this week.
Today is Ash Wednesday and the official beginning of Lent. This year I’ve chosen to journey alongside my friend and co-teacher Christine Valters Paintner at Abbey of the Arts. Registration for this amazing journey with Hildegard of Bingen is open until Friday, February 15. Click here for full details.
Seth Godin also shows up in my inbox each morning and today I was inspired by these words on social media (especially since it’s tempting to lose myself on Facebook or email when I'm feeling scattered).
“(Social media) is an opportunity to waste time and energy checking out what the online world tells us about our role in the universe.”
And as another friend (the wise Debra Smouse) reminded me, social media is also a great place for connection. My challenge (and possibly yours) is discerning between waste and valued connection.
If you'd like to hear more from Debra, she has a brilliant class starting this Sunday in her 30 Days to Clarity series. Check out Clearing Brain Clutter here!
And one final just-for-fun thing I receive each day is a writing prompt from Sarah Selecky. Her prompts are great for those mornings when I feel a little discombobulated and need a reminder that writing always helps me find my way!
With so many choices each day, it's easy to feel scattered. DOH! Writing always helps me find my way... or my fave words from Flannery O'Connor:
"I write to discover what I know."
(In the spirit of fun, I’m also sharing my results of today’s Selecky prompt. Hope you enjoy!!)
Write a story that is a FICTIONAL memoir. Write for ten minutes.
Lucille awoke in the penthouse suite of the Ritz Carlton. She lazily stretched her arms to full capacity, still not reaching either side of the oversized bed. “Where’s Ricardo?” she wondered silently to herself. Wasn’t that always the question? Kind of like the Where’s Waldo? children’s books. Today he was probably wandering the alleys of the local bizarre with camera in hand.
They’d arrived in Marrakesh two days before and she was still adjusting to the time change and relishing the time off from her heavy touring schedule. The ashrams were a fascinating mixture of still calm and overwhelming pressure. The miraculous sense of stillness she experienced when granted time on her own far outweighed the gravity she felt when she occupied the center of attention.
In these eastern countries the locals clamored for her consideration like she was a goddess incarnate. They’d never seen a western woman who had risen to her level of enlightenment. Oh, if only they knew how she felt inside. Some days (like this one) she felt like a fraud as she longed to pull the covers back over her head and spend the day reading trash novels and watching pay-per-view.
Did the Buddha ever feel this way? Or Mother Teresa? She was pretty sure Jesus had experienced similar moods even though the early church molders had edited out nearly all of his flawed humanity when deciding which books and stories to include in the Bible. Still… she could relate to his moments of fleeing to the desert as well as those final words on the cross, “My God, why have you forsaken me?”
There it was—the ultimate humanity and terror—the feeling of being forsaken even when she knew better. Lucille stretched her arms to full spread eagle again and pushed her toes toward the foot of the bed, positioning herself in a perfect cross.
It was her choice today… would she allow herself to feel persecuted by all that lay inside and outside her… or would she rise from the dead and set aside the expectations of the world. Would she choose to be the shining light she knew herself to be or would she hide beneath a blanket of self-doubt and fear?
Online Offerings, Pondering, Tales, choice
Reader Comments (4)
Kayce, thank you for sharing your response to the prompt. I was reminded today (by the wise words of Brene Brown, funny how she is popping up everywhere now) "Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen" Something that I have whispered to myself so many times today. I think this was just the affirmation I needed.
I hope you are finding your get away to be restful!
Sending you light,
Jessie
Spaciousness has been my partner the last couple of weeks and I've loved it......I've also sent off for paints and a computer which should arrive Friday:). I found my leisure and space very useful this am as I eased into Lent:)
Xo
"especially since it’s tempting to lose myself on Facebook or email when I'm feeling scattered"...in reading this line I realized that's exactly what I'm doing. For years all I've longed for is the time to do what I really want. Now I have all the time in the world and I feel completely and utterly lost. For much of my life I've been working toward something so this feels VERY uncomfortable. I love the quote you posted above, "I write to discover what I know." The challenge I'm facing is actually getting myself to write...
Thank you for sharing your experience...it helped me remember I'm not alone!
thanks so much for responding, Jessie!! when i re-read your comment this morning i realized that a big part of my writing prompt this morning circled around "courage." maybe i'll post it a little later ;-) xo kayce