Doses of Delight

“Nothing like talking about good and evil while walking along the beach watching herons.” ☺ Christine Paintner

Some days you just need a big dose of delight and that is just what got served up to me yesterday. My strong “Lucy instinct” wants to kick in and say, “Na na na na na na! I got to do something you didn’t do, “ but I will attempt to remain a little more civilized (or not) and simply say I had a fabulous day.

The day started with one of my favorite things: a ferry ride. An amazing sunrise filled the sky and burst through fluffy white clouds that only the day before had been heavy and gray. I stood on the front of the boat in the chill morning air and marveled at the sea, the fog and the golden turning leaves on the distant shores. My destination was Hood Canal and the hermitage of the lovely Christine (and this is where I say inside “Na na na na na na” ☺.)

We walked along the rugged shore for two hours, crawling over logs, steering around oyster beds, stepping lightly through hundreds of sand dollars and watching Tune with her keen sense of smell search out crab shells for her morning snack. The biggest dose of delight came as a surprise (as surprises are prone to do) when Christine’s foot disappeared ankle high into the wet sand. Then her other foot vanished and just as I reached out to give her a hand both my feet were simultaneously swallowed by the beach. My balance not being as good as my friend’s, I soon was tilted backwards and plopped down in the wet sand. We both burst into huge fits of laughter and for a few moments we were literally “stuck” in time before we were able to gain our composure and inch and pull our way back to solid ground. It was a glorious moment.

The day was filled with many more delightful moments, but I will stop before I move toward all out bragging ☺. Well, speaking of bragging, I must share just one more event….Yesterday was my daughter’s last school soccer game of the season. She is a Freshman and made the varsity team at her school (brag). The team has, however, not been known as the best team around (oh, well ☹). In this final game, they played the #1 ranked team who has not been beaten in several seasons (7 maybe?). Well, the tides changed yesterday and guess who scored the winning goal (the only goal, I might add…oops there’s that bragging again)? You guessed it…my beautiful, fabulous, talented, wonderful, delightful daughter!!!! Brag brag brag brag….Needless to say I was one proud Mom as I watched her grin from ear to ear and the team embrace her when the whistle finally blew at the end of the game.

Enough already. The sun is shining here today and it feels like another serving of delight. I wish you your own joys in the coming weekend!

Blessings and cheers!!

elliott bay photo by bill

Poetry Party

Broken things lie all around. Be sure to visit Christine's Invitation to Poetry @ Beauty of Broken Things.

Here is my contribution:

dark
broken
desperate…
still
i reach for the heavens

photo from Abbey of the Arts

I Do Not Know

A friend wrote me today and asked, "How are you?" At the moment the only response I had was "Aaaaaaarrghhhhhh" in true Peanuts-style. It made me smile, however, to know someone was thinking fondly of me. I have been wrestling lately between my calling and the price I feel like I pay for "seeing well." Wondering if this is the persecution Christ talks about. My work has been filled with amazing transformative
experiences that seem to be peppered from all sides with challenges and potential setbacks. It is enough to make me question if it is all worth it, but somehow quitting seems to be just what the enemy (whatever that means) would want me to do. And so, I dig my Lucy heels in and hold my ground while praying for sunlight, rest and wisdom.

I ran across this quote last night while reading Will and Spirit by Gerald G. May, M.D. He calls this the "fundamental contemplative statement concerning good, evil, and God:"

I DO NOT KNOW. I do not know what is ultimately good or evil, nor even what is real or unreal. But I do know that there is no way I can proceed upon my own personal resources. In this as in all things, I am utterly and irrevocably dependent upon a Power that I can in no way objectify. I call this Power God, and God is beyond my understanding, beyond good and evil, beyond doubt and trust, beyond even life and death. God's love and power and Spirit exist in me, through me, and in all creatures. But God is unimaginably BEYOND all this as well. I also know that in my heart I wish to do and be what God would desire of me. Therefore, in humility and fear, I give myself. I commit my soul to God, the One Almighty Creator, the Ultimate Source of reality. Good or bad, right or wrong, these things are beyond me. I love, but I do not know. I live and act and decide between this and that as best I can, but ultimately, I do not know. And thus I say, in the burning vibrancy of Your Love and Terror, THY WILL BE DONE.

Amen

photo taken on my morning walk today

The Battle continues...

While my recent posts have focused on the darker aspect (here and here), the reason there is a battle is because of two seemingly opposing sides. There is so much to consider and ponder in this world (an understatement, I know.)

In the midst of considering evil's role, there is still a place of light that shines through. The past two days have been filled with a rhythm of rest and restoration for me. The sun has been shining which always seems to help my clarity of mind...or at least my attitude about things. I have found joy in the simplest of things: cleaning my closet, taking my dog to the vet, restocking some groceries, watching a young squirrel in the fall leaves, seeing the turtles sunning themselves at Greenlake and best of all feeling the sun and wind on my skin while driving about in my little convertible with each of my family one at a time. The world has been bathed in a beautiful fall light, so I was not in the least surprised when I took this little quiz found at Abbey of the Arts and discovered that "I am the Sun."

Momentarily sitting in the Sun is a nice, warm place to be...especially when the rains threaten to return and the battle rages all around. More on that later...

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

The Battle

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” --Genesis 50:20

Sometimes the battle between good and evil feels so strong it is almost incapaci-
tating. Is that the goal of evil--
to incapacitate?

There is so much to consider in each seemingly small verse like the one above. I understand that the brothers (the "you") intended to harm Joseph in this story. They are human. But where I get hung up is God’s place in the whole scene. Did God “intend” for Joseph to suffer all those years so that many could be saved? The thought of imposed suffering for the good of others leaves me cold. It is a topic I have been wrestling with of late.

My last week was filled with an array of emotions and powerful experiences. I watched transformation of souls occur before my very eyes. I experienced it for myself. I felt the power of God in nature and witnessed it in the rain, wind and hail. I saw eagles soar and light shine on trees like something in a painting. Miracles were all around. And, I could sense a battle to stop this good from happening.

Does the heat get turned up when God’s work is being done? Who turns up the heat? God? Satan? The Universe? Me? Many questions bounce through my mind for which I have no answers. I feel like I could try to ignore them and hope they go away or I could become absorbed with them and thus paralyzed from moving forward.

The balance for me is in being aware and willing to wrestle with the thoughts. Even making a small start and putting a few words on paper brings me hope. Not that I will necessarily come up with the answers, but that I will continue to move, to choose life, to reach for the light rather than become absorbed by darkness.

I choose to wrestle. How about you? What does your wrestling look like today?

photo by bill