Blessed Among Women

"Blessed are you among women." That is how I felt yesterday from several different venues. Today I would like to share a few of those blessings.

First, a dear friend & colleague of mine trusted me enough to share a bit of her journal and graciously agreed to let me post it here. Her words are a powerful reminder of listening and so much more.

"I had a thought, or a memory. I remembered my dream about the demons. I would always shout and strain to preach to them, dream after dream. I then had the dream that ended these reoccurring dreams. I whispered to the demons with ease and knew the power was there (God). It was effective,potent. In my counseling, I find myself straining (especially the early years) to help and speak and be with my clients. When I am tired, or feeling desperate for direction and wisdom I feel the same urge to push and strain. I find, though, that the Holy Spirit doesn’t need that ‘help’ from me. It’s best when I surrender, and allow the subtle, soft, power to fill me and the room. It’s me being more of an open, soft, hearing, and most of all trusting child in the battle of the moment. It’s in this place where I see the raise of an eyebrow, or the tiny crossing of some emotion brush the face of my client. It’s where I join them more deeply. This is something I’m so grateful to remember today. amen"

Oh, that I would remember to "whisper" with God's power rather than "push and strain."

The next blessing came in the form of a poem from my wonderful friend and talented writer at Chimayo Bound. Earlier in the spring, I searched for a poem about my radiant poppies and yesterday I received the gift of just such a poem. I hope you will go see the beautiful images and words here.

And finally the day ended with the inspiring words of Episcopal Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori. She said, "I think life is meant to be challenging. If we're going to use the fullness of the gifts that we've been given, it means we have to continue to be stretched, and I look forward to that." Me, too.

These words came in the context of an interview with Bill Moyers. You can find both the video and the transcript here. Her viewpoint as both scientist, theologian and woman was one I found to be beautifully inspiring.

My desire is that you will also be blessed by these women as I have been. Cheers!

photo/art "Church Lady" by Erin Andrews (another blessing)
poppy by Peg at Chimayo Bound

Knowing God. Knowing Self.

God has met me this week through the words of Henri Nouwen. Monday morning as I sat shocked and reeling from my experience at church on Sunday, questioning my faith and hearing voices of my past and present telling me I had to know God their way to be “saved”, I opened Nouwen’s The Only Necessary Thing and these words greeted me:

"Once I “know” God, that is once I experience God’s love as the love in which all my human experiences are anchored, I can only desire one thing: to be in that love.”

Those words were like a warm hug enwrapping my small and oh so human body. Because, you see, I know that I have experienced the love to which Nouwen refers and I experienced it yet again in that very moment as tears of joy and surrender trailed down my face. There was nowhere else I desired to be. The voices of others faded away and only the voice of God commingled with mine existed.

The other “voices” that continue to battle for my attention are the ones that say “Self-knowledge is dangerous. It is selfish to consider yourself over others. You must only listen to the word of God (i.e. Scripture) for clear understanding.” With those voices I translate, “Don’t look inside yourself. You cannot be trusted. Only trust others who know more than you (i.e. pastors and scholars).” The battle is that I really don’t believe the translation and find myself caught between knowing that I can trust myself and realizing that the battle still rages on.

And so I share Nouwen’s words that greeted me today (I realize I have just spoken of being wary of only trusting “wiser” others, however, the difference for me lies in the words having resonance rather than dissonance in my soul.) His words definitely fall into the resonance category for me. See Reeling? Healing? Kneeling? for an example of dissonance ☺.

"The mystery of the spiritual life is that Jesus desires to meet us in the seclusion of our own heart, to make his love known to us there, to free us from our fears, and to make our own deepest self known to us. In the privacy of our heart, therefore, we can learn not only to know Jesus, but through Jesus to know ourselves as well…Each time you let the love of God penetrate deeper into you heart, you lose a bit of your anxiety; and every time you shed a bit of your anxiety, you learn to know yourself better and long all the more to be known by your loving God.

Thus the more you learn to love God, the more you learn to know and to cherish yourself. Self-knowledge and self-love are the fruit of knowing and loving God. You can see better now what is intended by the great commandment to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself.” Laying our hearts totally open to God leads to a love of ourselves that enables us to give whole-hearted love to our fellow human beings. In the seclusion of our hearts we learn to know the hidden presence of God; and with that spiritual knowledge we can lead a loving life.”

Again, I experienced the warm knowing that God was speaking directly to my heart--A heart desiring self-knowledge not because it is “selfish” but because it desires “to know the hidden presence of God…and lead a loving life.”

Amen.

How and where do you meet God? What are the battles that rage inside your head?

The Reflecting Pond

Today I would like to share a reading that showed up in my mailbox this morning, but first I need to say a little about the book from which it comes. Years ago (about 26 to be exact) I was going through a very difficult and challenging time. My brother-in-law (who I really knew on a very superficial level) gave me a reflection book for Christmas. It seemed an odd gift at the time considering the fact he may have already been my "ex" brother-in-law and I was a much younger sibling, but the gesture was one I really appreciated.

I am not sure I had ever owned such a book and it ended up being one that encouraged me through many difficult years. Several times in the past I tried to purchase the book for friends, but was never successful in finding it and was told it was out-of-print. Then about three years ago I started receiving "Today's Gift" on e-mail. Some days I delete the message and other times it meets me right where I am. One day I read an especially moving reflection only to find it came from (no mystery here) the inspirational book from my past. Amazingly, the book has followed me through many moves and continues to show up at the most appropriate times. Hmmmm.

So that's the short story of the book. Now here's today's message. (I especially love Seneca's quote at the end.)

Do we go about our daily work dutifully but joylessly? Have we settled for less in our jobs, homes, or relationships than we want? Have we substituted financial security or physical comfort for the freedom to pursue our heart's desires?

Very few of us give ourselves the opportunities to explore our real interests and potentials. We "lock" ourselves into rigid ways of regarding the world and our options. We often settle for less than our highest aspirations because we have conditioned ourselves into thinking life is joyless endurance or survival at best.

In order to change the empty circumstances in our lives we need to change our limited thinking patterns. Instead of looking at life as a prison, we can view it as a smorgasbord of opportunities that are well within our reach. By exploring and sampling the choices before us we can discover which choices bring us inner satisfaction and increase our sense of purpose.

TODAY I will remind myself of what Roman philosopher Seneca said hundreds of years ago: "The great blessings of mankind are within us, and within our reach..."

from The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

My Dance

“My dance. No one does it like I do. I am delighted and slightly disturbed by so much responsibility riding on me just being me. It seems that when I begin to experience fully and wholly the sweet spots of life, doubt starts to creep in. Can this be real? How long will it last? Recently, I have fought the words “courageous” and “brave” as they have been ascribed to me. Why? It feels like a battle for my soul. If I continue to step into life and live peacefully in the midst of craziness, it is a threat to evil. It is breaking the chains that bind me to daily drudgery and mediocrity.”

Saturday, I was cleaning and sorting my computer files and ran across the above-undated words. When did I write them? What was going on in my life? As time would have it, those words seem equally as appropriate (possibly even more so) today than they did the day I originally penned them. There is definitely a battle going on. This morning I wrote in my morning pages that there are things I desire to say that Lucy would just go ahead and write without care to what others may think. As I write now, I ponder why do I hold back? What am I afraid of? (It took me two tries to get over my fear of hanging prepositions and leave the previous sentence as is.) If I am afraid of proper grammar then how much more hesitant will I be as I continue to bump up against the ingrained voices of my past and present? Fortunately, I can choose. It is, after all, “my dance” and with Lucy by my side who knows what may happen? Stay tuned and journey along with me because as my tagline says:

“I write to discover what I know” –Flannery O’Connor (& me)

Healing? Kneeling? Reeling?

Step right on up, folks. No need to think for yourself. We’ve got it all figured out. Don’t worry about the questions. We’ll just let you know what the answers are. Here’s the cup. Here’s the bread. Don’t think. Don’t chew. Just swallow. Don’t be too scared, but make sure there’s enough healthy fear in there to keep you on the right path. (It's the narrow one, by the way.) Make sure enough doubt hangs in your mind that our sure-fire assurance takes hold of you. Don’t walk away from the truth. What is the truth, you ask? Don’t worry about figuring that out for yourself, because we already have all the answers and will be happy to give them to you. No need to think. Thinking just confuses things. It’s Satan’s way of getting into your mind. Poisoning your thoughts. Just step right on up and pray to Jesus, because this is the truth: He is the ONLY way. Sorry about all those poor folks who can’t get that figured out. Sure glad we’re the chosen ones. That’s what scripture says and I can’t change that. Too bad, so sad. Amen and have a nice day ☺!

Truth or fiction? Imagination or reality? Past or present?