On rainbows, unicorns, & being 'too shiny'

"There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." - Leonard Cohen

I recently attended a women’s event where one of the speakers asked us to fill in the blank about a feeling of being “too” something in our lives. You know those "too's." Too much. Too fat. Too thin. Too quiet. Too loud. My response? All of these + the one that kind of surprised me, Too shiny.

I started pondering this notion of too shiny and what I noticed is that a handful of people come to mind. Those who, on occasion, make comments like: Your life is so easy. Things always go your way. Nothing phases you, etc. My lizard brain evidently translates this as Too shiny. My more vocal response: Hello? Do you know me? 

Whatever the reason, this line of discussion feeds into an aversion to being viewed as someone who thinks she has it all figured out and only focuses on rainbows and unicorns. Let me be clear, I am not that person. It’s a dichotomy, too, because I am kinda shiny and I do love rainbows and sparkly things... And I work hard in my life to live what I give and to continue moving from a glass ½ empty stance to one that is overflowing with joy and gratitude. Still, it’s hard being misunderstood, right?

If ever there were a magic elixir to shift a perspective or change a mood, I believe it is gratitude. Today I’m pondering how to find gratitude in a situation that is driving me absolutely nuts with its negativity. There is a person (or two) who I experience as frequently casting aspersions toward others (including yours truly). Negativity and discontent is what I see on the surface, but beneath their caustic words and downer attitude I feel their deep sense of woundedness.

It appears that these someones believe and resent that other people may be living happy, carefree lives full of rainbows and unicorns. What they seem to have forgotten is that mighty storms usually precede a rainbow and a unicorn’s horn can be wickedly sharp when poked into a person’s private affairs.

What I’ve come to believe is that our lives are neither all good nor all bad. Life is not static, but rather a fluid movement depending on how we choose to take it in and let it go. Heaven knows I’ve got some things I could be angry about in my life and I’m pretty certain you do too! If I let those things define me, then I could easily become their essence (dulled beyond repair). I don’t want to be a suffering victim or a superior martyr. I want to be gloriously flawed, perfectly imperfect, shiny me.

Today I choose to focus on gratitude and spread love and light. That doesn’t mean I don’t suffer. Far from it. My heart breaks everyday for loved ones who cannot see a way towards light. I am horrified at the atrocities happening in our world. I am aggrieved for friends’ personal losses. Darkness greets me every time I turn on the television, open up a newspaper, or read a Facebook newsfeed. And, if we each choose to be swallowed up into that darkness, the light of our world could go out. Forever.

The question then becomes: how do we share our stories—dark and light— in a way that is redemptive and true? How do we let the light shine through our cracks?

One of my heroes is storyteller and researcher, Brené Brown. Her body of work focuses on being vulnerable and embracing our imperfections. She believes in the power of story for healing, but she also says that not everyone has earned the right to hear our story.

In a world where Facebook, Twitter, and tell-all blogs have become commonplace, we often forget that the whole world has not earned the right to hear our private heartaches. There are also individuals who are incapable of sharing anything except hurt with others. Today I will light a candle for those who struggle to see the brilliance of life. I will pray for each of us in my own way and I will continue to express gratitude for the circumstances of my own life.

I will share what I can from a place that is deeply rooted in sorrow and love, fertilized with pain and suffering, and sprinkled with laughter and joy. I will choose to let a little light break through… even at the risk of appearing too shiny... 

Ponder this: What's your inner or outer "too" statement? Could it be a case of mistaken identity? How might a dose of gratitude shift your thinking? Where and how do you long to shine in the world?

~~~

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