Inequality - It's an Inside Job

by Kayce Stevens Hughlett

Click image for more info on Blog Action DayI waited until the last minute to sign up for this year’s Blog Action Day. I kept asking how I could write about inequality from a white, upper middle class, American perspective? The idea seemed a bit arrogant and perhaps even a little forced. I know my circumstances allow me privileges that others may not be afforded. Who am I to speak about inequality? 

Well... I am a ponderer extraordinaire and when a topic like this captures my interest, I can't let it go unexplored. You see, I believe in equality for all people - not just the ones that society singles out as disenfranchised.

My mission in life is to look for and acknowledge the shining light that I believe resides in every person… dim as it may be at times. So, I kept turning the topic of inequality over in my mind until I landed on a thread of behavior that I see connected throughout the world. This thread is the unkind way that we treat ourselves when our shining light hasn’t been tended and properly nurtured.

It is the shabby thread of “not good enough.”

Christians say that the greatest commandment is to love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Since this is not a religious commentary, however, I will stick with the second half of this equation: to love your neighbor as yourself. Personally and professionally, I have come to see that this is exactly what we do.

If we see ourselves as worthy of love then we are more likely to treat others with the same respect. More often than not, we treat ourselves as second-class citizens and in the process lash out and hurt others along the way.

When someone acts out of superiority or disdain, they are most likely masking their own sense of inequality that lies hidden within. It’s a vicious cycle. We are hurt, so we respond with more hurt. It’s hard to return spitefulness with love… but it is possible.

What if instead of seeing ourselves as flawed and not good enough, we were to see ourselves as the unique, amazing, and special people that we are? What if we believed this above all else and offered this sentiment outward for all people? Can you imagine how inequality might begin to make a shift toward equality?

original photo used with permission of h3imagesChildren aren’t born prejudice and acts of bigotry aren’t isolated instances reserved for certain social or ethnic classes. I vividly remember my first day of graduate school in a class titled “Multi-cultural Issues.” Our professor was an attractive, bi-racial woman who had earned the title PhD. During a hypothetical example of stereotyping, she chose to single me out to the entire class as a “bored, upper middle class housewife, whose children had left the nest and whose CEO husband didn’t have time to spend with her and their phoofy little dog.” She proposed that I had returned to school to kill time.

While she had never before  laid eyes on me and she stressed the hypothetical nature of the exercise, I could hear the contempt in her voice and see it in her eyes.

This was an act of inequality.

While I can never know what it’s like to be a bi-racial woman, I do know what it’s like to be shunned and shamed. I did it to myself for years as I struggled to find my inner voice alongside my outward appearance. I believed I would only be heard and accepted if I were a size two with perfect skin and hair. In southern culture, manners and appearance were highly touted attributes essential for success.

My first employer out of college was a huge multi-national accounting firm. They called them ‘The Big Eight’ back then. I worked my tail off to achieve high academic standards and played the role to “dress for success.” I was extremely proud when I landed a highly coveted position in their local office in Tulsa, Oklahoma. On our first day of work, my classmates and I became privy to the words of the man who hired us. He bragged to his partners how he had “decorated the office” by hiring five attractive women to complement the largely male staff.

Another act of inequality. We, women, were viewed as ornamental and our male counterparts were required to disappear into “manly” bravado and bluster.

 Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?

Inequality often begins in the home. My earliest experience came when my parents labeled me “the baby.” My sister was “the pretty one” and my brother, “the smart one.” There was little room for any one of us to step outside of these distinctions. My sister grew up thinking she wasn’t bright enough and my brother wondered if anyone would ever find him attractive. I was invited to live in a perpetual infantile and silent state, until I learned there was another way.

author of "As I Lay Pondering" - Kayce S. HughlettFirst world problems? Perhaps, but it is this kind of treatment that perpetuates larger acts of prejudice and inequality; the kind that says a white man is worth more than any other person. It’s the attitude that says educated people deserve higher levels of respect and men should earn greater pay than women. It’s the mindset that judges our outside attributes and overlooks or silences our inner light and gifts. It is the inequality that dominates a broken world.

Inequality is a mammoth problem. My hope is that today I have shed a tiny light on how it’s not someone else’s issue, but rather our own. How will you join the fight against inequality?

If you don’t know where to start, may I suggest looking in the mirror and telling yourself how worthy you are? Stop the inequality within and watch it trickle outward into the world.

Namaste. 

 ~~~

Are you curious about learning new ways of being in the world? Then consider joining Sharon Richards and me for our next Urban Pilgrimage: Where Soul Greets Soul in Paris, France. Together we'll explore and practice the unique gifts and joys that bring us alive. 

We just opened a brand new set of dates, May 9 - 16, 2015. Experience the joy of being present to yourself in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. We promise, you've never seen Paris (or yourself) like this!!! 

 ~~~

My signature self-care and soul nourishment class, Live it to Give it, is available online. Start the new season with intention!! Details here.  Self-study only $95. Kickstart your life today! 

To receive updates and follow more live it to give it adventures via my social media connections, access the links below. Notice what tickles your heart strings and speaks to your soul... and Please let me know how I can help you learn, grow, and follow your own dreams!