Daring Greatly: Commentary on "The Truth About Vulnerability"

Life Coach and colleague, Amy Steindler does a superb job in her recent blog post: The Truth About Vulnerability discussing Chapter Two of Brené Brown's book, Daring Greatly. One of the things I love most about living and working with others is having the opportunity to watch (& experience) daily steps toward wholehearted living.

While I was reading Amy's post, I had a flashback to being in grad school for my counseling psych degree. During our training, we were divided into small practicum groups where we learned to be present with others while also delving into our own stories. It was a new experience for me (this "authenticity" work) and it was anything but comfortable. While I didn’t recognize it at the time, I was a key practitioner of Amy's favorite quote:

“I want to experience your vulnerability, but I don’t want to be vulnerable." Brené Brown

...except I totally thought I was being vulnerable and transparent. I was so shut off and protective of myself that even the tiniest bit of vulnerability (like speaking up at all) felt HUGE. I used to get totally frustrated when I felt like I'd just poured my heart out and people were sympathetic, but commented how I seemed to be 'holding back something.'

What I came to learn during that time (and since) is that I was very well versed in maintaining the myths of vulnerability, but in a wacky reversed kind of way. I actually BELIEVED they were myths, but I was physically incapable of busting through them. It’s kind of like people who are living robotically and think it’s their best life. I didn’t know there was another way. 

While reading a friend's comment, I resonated deeply when she spoke of being raised with mixed messages. Like her, I also had a mother with a confusing combo of open and closed communication. What I have discovered in my journey is how my mother's actions taught me very well what it feels like to be closed off from vulnerability (which of course left me feeling vulnerable). Today, when I get that “confused” feeling I know I’m on the inauthentic end of the scope which is a signal to start moving toward more balance and authenticity. Practice. Practice. Practice. 

Bottom line -  I am one grateful girl and wanted to share these experiences of busting myths!!! 

For more on this topic, check out On the Same Page, a book club blog series sponsored byThe Wayfinder Post. We are reading Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown. All posts can be found at The Wayfinder Post. Thank you, WayPo!

Weekly schedule of topics and authors. 

Comments

[airplane simulator]

interesting article, i like that.

[vilma]

You touched me with your example ,I like this " Today, when I get that “confused” feeling I know I’m on the inauthentic end of the scope which is a signal to start moving toward more balance and authenticity. Practice. Practice. Practice. "I have to start ,thank you....