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Sunday
Jul202014

Tumbleweed, too!

"The wonderful thing that I learned is that as part of the tumbleweed life cycle the adult plant dries up and dies, detaches from the root system, blows off in the wind, and in the process cracks open and little seeds or spores fall out and are absorbed into the earth when it rains. It’s how tumbleweeds regenerate and multiply." Linda Bayly-Fennell

My summer days are simple and full. Sometimes I have oodles I want to say and not enough time to write it all down. Other days I feel dry as an old desert bone with hours (& blank pages) spread before me.

A fellow coach and colleague described her own summer feeling like that of being a tumbleweed… rolling from one place to another, sprinkling seeds along the way. I wonder what my seeds are as I sit in my studio contemplating what it means for me to live it and give it like my banner boldly proclaims.

I wonder what it means to be a writer who isn’t focused or a yogi who doesn’t go to class. How can the smiling woman in my pictures inhabit the same body as the creaky old gal who longs for lingering naps and cries at the slightest sadness in the world?

But that’s the thing about living life… I mean really living it, not just inhabiting it… we must feel our feelings! When we step wholeheartedly into our lives, every emotion arises. Fullness. Loneliness. Joy. Sorrow. Love. Fear. They all have a voice. It's not all sunshine and kittens.

This past week I became super frustrated with myself and thought I’d permanently moved to Loserville. I started to beat myself up because I didn’t sign up for a writing conference being held here in my own backyard. Old stories and voices started taking up residence in my mind. If you were really a writer you’d be at that conference. Your novel won’t ever be published at this rate. What a slacker! No wonder you’re not published.

Oh wait, I am published. And I have written a novel and I know it, too, will be published in due time. I just have to think about how I want to do it. As I followed another friend’s journey at the conference, I became more confident that I’d made my perfect choice to save my money and stay home.

I’m not a big fan of large organized groups that often end up feeling totally disorganized. I’d rather create my own organization. The Conference of Kayce. What would my conference look like? First of all, it would be fun. It would start out with grounding – probably a combo of meditation and yoga, toss in a bit of poetry and a sprinkle of laughter, maybe a few tears, a chunk of hard work, and a huge dollop of sunshine.

I do love sunshine and laughter, which is exactly what I received these past few days.

I also cried a little because life isn’t always joyous. I laughed with a friend and her kids as we sat in the warm sunshine and swam in a cold lake. I snuggled with my cat and finished reading someone else’s novel. I watched a sweet movie with my husband. I made a plan for my own novel journey. And yesterday, I found an entry in a diary from a couple years ago. It was a reminder of an old yearning that turned into a present reality.

I’m amazed at the power of writing things down. I write to discover what I know is true for me. I inscribe my dreams in composition notebooks and tap documents into my computer. I take small steps and occasionally I launch myself in the unknown with fear-defying leaps. I create my own “conferences.” Mostly I pause and pay attention. Like my friend, I am a tumbleweed rolling across the plains of life… loving the simplicity of summer and perhaps even sharing a few seeds along the way. 

Where do your weeds tumble (or does your weed stumble)? Are you feeling dry or enlivened today? How can you embrace where you are? What seeds will you pass onto the world today? Pause. Ponder. Write a few things down. Let me know how I can help! 

~~~

Experience the magic of Paris with Sharon Richards and me in May 2015. Only a couple of spots left for this grand adventure. Click here for full details. 

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If you missed this gift from me: A Ponderer's Dozenclick here to download your copy. It's filled with selected readings from As I Lay Pondering: daily invitations to live a transformed life as well as fine art photos from my talented husband, Bill Hughlett.

Reader Comments (2)

I read Linda's post on tumbleweeds, so I had to come see what yours might say too. "The Conference of Kayce. What would my conference look like? First of all, it would be fun. It would start out with grounding – probably a combo of meditation and yoga, toss in a bit of poetry and a sprinkle of laughter, maybe a few tears, a chunk of hard work, and a huge dollop of sunshine." Sounds like a space I would love too.

And I am a true lover of tumbleweeds, desert wanderer that I am! :)

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBo Mackison

Great post! Xo

July 21, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDianna

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