#12 Just Say No

by guest Teri Hockett

Do you feel like you are not in control of your life, or your destiny? Are you constantly saying how busy you are, how tired you feel, or that you just need a few more hours in each day to get everything done. You may be suffering from being too nice by agreeing to requests or opportunities that require your time, energy, and money but are not in alignment with your core values.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying you should be mean, I am just pondering how being nice has been a hindrance in the success of many people. One of the main ways nice shows up is when we say "yes" to requests or opportunities that don’t serve our overall mission and purpose in life.
 
You may be too nice if you identify with any of these statements:

• I am a consummate people pleaser.
• I say yes, because I know the job will be done right and/or on time.
• People will think negatively of me if I say “no”.
• Sometimes I say yes, and then feel resentful about the commitment.
• I have hastily agreed to something, and then told a lie to get out of it.
• I go along with the crowd, friends, or family because I don't want to miss out on the event but then I start searching for reasons to depart early? 

"live it to give it" Vision BoardUltimately, the bigger question is who takes priority in your life, you or everyone else? When you say "yes" to others are you saying "no" to yourself?
  
The first step to determining when to say “no” is to have a strategy for when you are presented with various requests and opportunities.

• Create a vision board for what you want to attain in life, this may include people (significant others, family, friends), professional and career goals, and personal goals. 
• Take each item from the board and create an action plan with SMART (Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time Bound) results.
• Refer back to your vision board and action plan to determine if the request or opportunity being presented fits within your goals.

 
Now that you have determined the correct answer to requests or opportunities for you, here are some tips to help you turn down what does not serve your purpose: 

• Understand that “No.” is a complete sentence. It requires no further explanation or discussion.
• Until you master the complete sentence rule, you can use something like: “Thank you for asking, however I feel compelled to give this opportunity to someone else this time.”
• Do not apologize or give reasons, this only opens you up for further discussion on something that you have already decided.

 
Knowing when and how to say no will help you create more simplicity in your life, giving you the time and energy for inspiration.

 ~~~ 

Teri Hockett, Transitional Career Strategist, CEO What’s For Work, and national speaker. As a Lead Recruiter and Outplacement Specialist for years, Teri thought it would be easy to opt back into the workforce. She quickly discovered that mom’s were devalued because of the gap in employment and for not having a viable personal brand.   As entrepreneurship runs deep in Teri’s veins, she createdwww.WhatForWork.com.  Teri works with her clients to identify and market their unique value with confidence, by developing a strategic personal branding and career management system.