Living a Whole-hearted Day
Monday, August 13, 2012 at 6:53 PM In her Tedx Talk, "The Power of Vulnerability," researcher/story teller, Brene Brown concludes with four steps that lead to what she calls a whole-hearted life. The steps center upon vulnerability, and she shares these words, "to be vulnerable is to be alive." This past weekend I had opportunity to reflect on her words and the following essay arose as I pondered where and how my own life intersects with Brown's steps:
- Let ourselves be seen
- Love with our whole hearts
- Practice gratitude and lean into joy
- Believe I am/ we are enough
Saturday... a glorious day. Simple, sweet, connected. Open and filled with possibility. The sun gleamed and warmed my face as a cool evening breeze fluttered the pages of my journal. My husband's funky music gently poured from the outdoor speakers as I acknowledged the deep, constant breath that fills my soul. How did I get here to this place of unfathomable relaxation and restoration?
There's a fire in my belly that speaks of things to come and days gone by. I am a woman who, after years of hiding in the shadows, has finally dared to be seen in big, small, and often incomprehensible ways. I shudder as I think of the ways we human beings press for deeper connection while simultaneously attempting to disappear. We hide, numb ourselves, and pull back. Like baby swallows on the nearby waterfront, we peer out of our nests with curiosity and hope, saying, "See me. Look at me," until something startles us or gets too close and then we vanish like phantoms on a summer's eve. We leave the viewer wondering, "Was she/were they there or was it only imagined?"
I am a woman who has dared to love with my whole heart--both myself and others. I've also held back more than I've probably ever given. Can both be true? Do pure moments of wholeness make up for decades of hiding? A moment of love can be salt poured on the slug we call Despair. Waiting. Pondering. Thoughts flow through me like vapor as I show up, get quiet, and begin to write I know not what. Me and Flannery O'Connor, writing to discover what we know.
The day I let go of resentment and leaned into gratitude, my life markedly changed. The pendulum of fear and bitterness released and tilted full swing into love and joy. Wracking giggles filled my soul... perhaps they are the fire in my belly and the rumbling deep within. Lyle Lovett croons from the stereo, "You have to go where your heart says go. Isn't that so?" Yes. I believe deep down to my gnarled roots there is nothing more true. Yes, it is so.
And finally, do I believe I am enough? Most days, yes. On this recalled day, I fully believed I was worth the slow start I inherently cherish... coffee in bed, a time of meditation and reflection, gentle movements toward beginning. You have to go where you heart says go. Isn't that so? The path of least resistance led me through this day... cleaning a closet, emptying my inbox, making space until only the essentials remain. Tidy room. Clean office. Whole heart. It's funny how these things might seem like they don't connect, but they do. Moving into stillness. Getting lost in the flow of words. Waiting to see what wants to arise. That is the way to spend a whole-hearted life, ordered by a power I cannot see. But it is there... on the blades of grass and the stream of sunshine. It lives in my belly and flows through my heart. I hear it in the bird's trill and the neighbors' chatter. Like the wind rustling through our bamboo stalks, I know it is there... the power that reminds me I am enough and my heart is whole on at least this one simple, perfect day.
Pause and ponder...
- Where and how will you allow yourself to be seen today?
- What does it mean to love with your whole heart?
- When do you best express gratitude and lean into joy?
- Will you believe... truly believe... you are enough on this day?
Reader Comments (2)
To be vulnerable is to be alive is something that struck me today as I prayed for others in need but found it hard to accept prayer for my situation.
Steven - accepting for ourselves is often the hardest thing we are called to do. Wishing you well in whatever situation you may be. K