visual gratitude

"I arise at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving."
--Kahlil Gibran

be

Is it fading memory or past inobservance? I don’t remember ever awakening to this amazing, picture perfect view right outside my window. Did I not turn to the west upon awakening in the past? Or is there a new window—a wall moved just a foot or two? I think not, because the room is perfectly symmetrical as it is. How can I miss something so simple and so amazingly beautiful? Something that is right before my very eyes?

I think we must do it all the time. The missing, I mean. Some say we cannot go looking for the sacred. Is that true? If we do not open our hearts, eyes or minds, how will we know it is there? And what of those times when we desperately want to see God and yet we feel or see nothing? A dark night of the soul, if you will.

There it is—the paradox of being. We must see to believe, but in the looking we miss what is simply there. Hmmmm. Is that what I meant to say? In looking for my words do they fail to come? Is something lost in the translation from heart to head? Yet I must put pen to paper for something to tangibly emerge. Or must I?

“Let it be,” says the still small voice. “Be” that simple tiny small word that is so huge. Let it be. Be still and know. Be still. Be.

How will I choose to “be” today? How will you?

"gone to the beach. not sure when i'll be back." she grins and boards the plane...

sacred

Do you ever have conversations with yourself? I don’t mean little mutterings, but full blown, pros and cons, asking questions and seeking answers kind of conversations? Well, if not, I highly recommend it. As Flannery O’Connor said, “I write to discover what I know.” Although more often my writing feels like it is discovering more and more of what I don’t know, because the questions just keep multiplying. The cool thing is that I am really o.k. with that. More so even than having all the answers which seems like a totally impossible task, don’t you think?

While I would like the share with you this morning’s conversation, it seems to be one that is ongoing and so impossible (and too large) to capture in one readable blog post. Nevertheless, I will share a snippet of it.

I woke up this morning pondering “what is sacred”? (i.e. How would one define sacred?) The first definition I found was “connected with God.” I like that. It resonates with me. It’s simple without too many words or fuss. (I do not choose to define God in this post. You will have to do that for yourself ☺. ) So, why was I pondering “sacred”? Well, yesterday felt like a very sacred day to me.

It was about finding the sacred in Seattle on a summer Friday night. Far away from the four walls of any institution. Feeling the life force around me while driving along the beach of Alki Point, soaking up the West Seattle culture. The magnificence of the city spread before us. The tempting call of the lapping waves. Dipping our toes into the cold Sound while conversing with a waif of a girl and her scraggly old dog puppy. Fresh sea air mixed with the warm heat of the day. Sacred. Friendship. Bread. Wine. Communion. Being seen in the eyes of another. Sacred conversation—not how to “save” the world, but how to "be" in the world so that our gifts are shared. God manifested. The evening was awe inspired and inspiring. Sacred, indeed.

More thoughts and conversation continued from there, but I choose to stop now and sit in the beauty of that little snippet. Perhaps the conversation will continue at another time. For now, however, I hope you will consider what “sacred” means to you. How about “fellowship”? Communion? Church? Have a little conversation here or perhaps with yourself even ☺.

Wishing you a blessed and sacred Saturday!

photos by lucy 6.20.08. "driving" & view from Salty's West Seattle.

holding back

I find myself holding back and I can only imagine that it is tied to years of feeling wrong, out of place and judged. I do not want to go back there AND I do not want those chains to continue to have their hold on me. So, what’s a girl to do?

I find myself on a journey of amazing possibilities with forks in the road and so many choices to be made along the way. Do they all lead to the same place? Can choices be made along the path that look different for each of us and still lead to one source? I hear the voices of my past (and occasional present) saying, “Do not stray from the narrow path. If you do, you will be wrong. You will live in eternal hell.” Ironically, it feels more like hell to follow the narrow voices that want to rein me in—to keep me from living my true nature. But wait; would that be a “sinful” nature? The one that the devil tempts me to? Yikes. It all feels so dramatic and forced and fear-based. But the voices of judgment hang tough and strong, telling me to keep myself in check.

Could those strong and tough voices of judgment be from God? Is my true nature really evil and so I need hard and fast guardrails? I think not. My heart, my soul, my very being tells me to listen to the beauty…To trust that God will meet me where I am as long as it is God I am seeking.

Hmmm...I don’t believe it is God I have the problem with ☺. The challenge is to live in the world and follow my path regardless of how others tell me I “should” live. You see I believe that the Way of Jesus is love. Period. It is God I am seeking. It is God who is seeking me. Together, we will make our own path. Period.

If you are reading this, I chose to push “publish’ and let up on the holding back…a little ☺. Thoughts? Comments? Where do you choose to listen? Heart? Head? Man? God? How do you KNOW what YOU believe? How do you discern whether it is your belief or just a hangover of others’ voices? Where do you hold back?