Memory from a Zeta Sister

"I was just talking to a neighbor who is a Zeta at Sam Houston State, and I had a flashback. Remember when we would leave early for class and sit on the wall in front of the Math Bldg just to people watch? I haven't taken the time to do something like that in years." -- KMP

I received this comment on Facebook from a sorority sister I haven’t seen face to face in over 30 years. Sadly my immediate answer is “No, Karen, I don’t remember that at all.” But then I pause, I close my eyes and I see those girls. I see us in our long 70’s hair and bell-bottomed jeans perhaps a peasant blouse or a Zeta Tau Alpha t-shirt. We are casual friends – sisters – pledged into the same class. I haven’t had contact with her in years and yet today she brings me a very real moment in time.

I can only see it in my mind’s eye. My memory feels so foggy from that time of life, but as I stop and pause, I feel the moment in my body. Tears form in my eyes and my stomach tightens just a bit. They are tears & tightening that cover the span of life - joy, sorrow, loss, memory. I know that girl who has become this woman. She was doing things as a college student that she – that I – love to do today. The woman I thought was never there - the one I thought didn’t come out to bloom until only recently - was laying the groundwork for me there on the campus of Oklahoma State University. She was there all along sitting on the wall in front of the Math Building, people watching. I thought that girl never existed. Now I know that she was there all along. I simply let her be surrounded by the fog of life, but today someone who walked beside me way back then helped lift that fog. A friend held the memory for me. Today I remember and I am blessed.

Today, I vow to find a spot along a wall or sidewalk – perhaps with a friend – perhaps on my own. I will take Karen with me if only in my heart and together those girls of the 70’s who have become women of the 21^st century will take the time to sit and watch. Maybe you will join me. Or perhaps you will share a memory with a friend. The best gifts often come in the simplest forms!!

Peace be with you, friend Karen. Thank you for the sweet memory.

celebrating blessings

Only 20 pages in and I am LOVING this book:

My Grandfather's Blessings - Rachel Naomi Remen

"Blessing life may be more about learning how to celebrate life than learning how to fix life."

"...life is about filling yourself up so that your blessings overflow onto others."

"celebrating life" photo by lucy 6.20.09

Summer Soul Singing...Slowly

It’s always hard to know where to pick up when you’ve been away from anything (blogging, home, friends, etc.) Reading Christine’s post, Summertime Slowness, I am reminded to pause and savor these moments as I re-enter home life after being gone for two weeks. The time was spent with my family of four and so I do not feel pressure to catch up with them or recount my time away.

We had a wonderful house sitter, so my home is in order with no need to deep clean or sort through piles of mail. The air is fresh outside and I long to linger in my bed as I catch up on e-mail and sprinkle in a few to-do’s along the way. Amazon Fresh delivered groceries to my doorstep before dawn and my sweet husband put them away and placed fresh flowers in a vase. I have appointments and meetings scheduled throughout the rest of the week, but for now I have the luxury of entering this time slowly.

As I recount my past weeks of travel I am aware that many of the moments I most enjoyed were the seemingly small and slow ones I could savor. Here are a few that come to mind:

• Waking up to the sunshine and delighting in my morning latte
• Watching snails move along the tide pool
  
• A mid-afternoon nap
• Coming face to face with a bunny in a field
• Seeing Christ Church for the first time
• Watching my children surf
• Rubbing the ears of a dog
• Strolling through Central Park
• Feeling my husband’s arm around my shoulder
• Entering the cool of The Cloisters with the rush of the world drifting away
• Singing “How Great Thou Art”
• Sharing a glass of wine with my niece
• Watching the sunset over the Olympic Mountains on our return ride from the airport
  
• Unlocking the door to our home
• Sleeping in my own bed
• Delighting in my morning coffee…

So, how is your summer pace? Are things frantic and rushed or are you allowing yourself time to see and savor each precious moment? Can you name the moments when your soul sings?

rites of passage

If you haven’t checked out my tagline recently, now would be a good time. The more I learn, the less I know. It seems whether it be about self-exploration or broadening horizons in general, this axiom holds true. Beginning the road to self-discovery is enlightening and it is a bit like opening Pandora’s box. There’s really no going back once you’ve started. And just when I think I’ve looked at every aspect of my personal being (or not), something new pops up. It really is the beauty of being an unfinished woman.

My latest case in point came as I was reading William Bridges classic book, Transitions. In it Bridges talks about rights of passage and how the modern culture has basically done away with formal markings of passage. Thus we have to make up our own and it is not usually done with any intentionality in mind. It may just kind of happen. Bridges says:

“It’s worth reflecting on this early transition (i.e. coming of age) in your life because that point may set the style for your later transitions.”

Being the ponderer that I am, I spent some time with Bridges’ suggestion. And here is what I discovered:

It often takes a really BIG stick to move me out of an established pattern and into transition. You know…things like, say, near death experiences. Mine have been more in the spiritual, emotional and even metaphorical realm, but I also had huge life transitions after each of my parents’ physical death.

This “big stick” theory led me to recall the midwife who helped birth my son saying “You have a really high tolerance for pain.” Yep. I can put up with a lot for a really long time before the pain finally gets to be too much. This can be both a very positive trait (Parenting is a great example as is working as a psychotherapist); AND it can be harmful in terms of my own health (spiritual, emotional and physical). The cool thing is with this new knowledge, I can decide if and how I want to proceed since I might pick up on my pattern a little sooner. Actually, I believe I have already started to do so. This new knowledge just gives a different way to frame how and why I repeat patterns in my life.

My invitation today is that you, too, consider Bridges’ suggestion. What did the early transition in your life look like? When did you “know” you were no longer a child? Can you see ways this ‘right of passage’ has followed you into adulthood? I’m going to keep pondering. I hope you will too!

photos from bermuda, 5.09

streams from the shower

a full day ahead of me, i just wanted to share this little epiphany that came to me in the shower this morning. i spent about five hours working in my yard yesterday. glorious. really it was an amazing church experience. i have so much fullness flowing through, but need to head out the door momentarily.

anyway...the gardening i did yesterday was the kind of work that nobody notices unless you don't do it. you know, pulling out the weeds that threaten to take over the healthy plants. thinning out some of the good stuff, so it can shine a little brighter and breathe more fully.

so, that's my epiphany...do you see how that is like life? doing the work nobody notices (maybe even yourself) unless you DON'T do it. it's important stuff!!

sorry for the brevity, but you're a smart bunch (of flowers)...i'd love to know what you come up with as you ponder the weeds of your life and even the thinning of "good stuff" that might need to happen. so, how does your garden grow???

gotta run. have a grand day in your garden of life!!