enCouragingBliss: Do Not Get Rid of Your Vice

“Do not get rid of your vice but make it work for your illumination rather than your degradation. Turn it around on yourself and transform it into your best virtue.” from BlissChick

Wouldn’t you think that finding your bliss would be all warm and fuzzy. Happy. Light and carefree? Wouldn’t that be delightful – and way too easy?!?! BlissChick, however, is a woman after my own heart and she is willing to dig deep and look at the hard stuff which in return helps us move closer to living our bliss – truth – image of God – or whatever you like to call it. In her current post, she asks us to consider how we might transform vice to virtue.

So, that’s where the tough work comes in. We must first name our greatest vice. Yuk!! I pondered her post for a minute or two, considered doing something else (i.e. avoiding the topic) and then my inner censors kicked in and shouted, “I am selfish.” So, I opted to pick up pen and paper and see what happens.

In writing about my selfishness, I began to find the virtue of generosity. So I posed myself the question of when am I most generous? Throughout the conversation, I realized another vice showed up – my self-critical voice. (Not so surprising!) Self-criticism is an easy trap in which to get caught, because I am great at being critical about being self-critical. (While writing this, I realized the virtue here is that I am very generous with helping others see and fight their own battles to be free of self condemnation ☺.)

Having come through this not-so-little exercise, I discovered the virtue to these two vices of selfishness & self-criticism both come down to one thing – generosity.

Be generous. Unconditional. What if I could be generous with myself - giving myself the love and care I need…while still being generous with others and knowing they may fail me, because they’re human just like me? A circle of generosity perhaps?

Thanks to BlissChick (and Joseph Campbell who inspired her post which I highly recommend reading) I shall be looking more closely at those places where I am both selfish and generous with myself and others. Not getting rid of the vice, but seeing how it might be transformed into virtue.

How about you? Are you up for turning some vice into virtue? What would it be? How might you go about it? I hope you’ll join in the journey and let me know what you find along the way.

sinking into essential

Last week was an amazingly full week. It was filled with lots of intentional conversation in a variety of venues and kept me away from much writing or blogging. Yesterday was spent resting and snuggled up in my studio most of the day reading and listening to the rain fall. I have been trying to capture the essence of these days without much success. The theme of lent flows in and out of my brain. Words from blogger friends help coalesce a few thoughts. Here is a response I wrote to Christine at Abbey of the Arts:

"I feel like I am in this flow of living into and letting go. Falling in the dirt and letting that be good. Jan Richardson’s words regarding paradox and mystery resonate deeply with me…”The cure for mystery? More mystery. The cure for paradox? More paradox.” Big doses of both are being served up for my Lenten (life) experience. Lent is definitely not for sissies!!! "

And so, I sit at the end of a restful weekend attempting to go with the flow and not get too much dirt in my teeth. I find myself pondering what is essential? The past couple of days, I have captured a few thoughts on paper, listened to the rain of yesterday, walked in the sunshine of today, answered some e-mails, played around on Facebook, shared Sabbath wine with friends, listened to lots of music, napped and done a little organizing on my memoir. I also read some Thomas Merton and here is what he offers tonight:

“God cannot be found by weighing the present against the future or the past, but only by sinking into the heart of the present as it is.”

Ahhh, “sinking into the heart of the present” that seems to identify essential for me. How about you? What was essential in your weekend? What is essential in your now?

lucy's personal empowerment day

It is starting to appear that February 27 is some kind of great empowerment day for me. Last year on this date, I was winging my way across the Atlantic for my grand Paris adventure. Today...I conquered the incessantly running toilet in our bathroom. Not quite the same, you might say. Well, I don't know. There is something pretty magical about saving a $100 plus charge for a plumber house call, purchasing a part for $2.70 and completing the whole process solo! I am pretty dang proud of myself.

The rest of the day held its own kind of magic too. I had early morning correspondence with some of my favorite people then went for a long overdue hair appointment. In fact, it may have been the new coif that convinced the hardware store salesman to walk me through the plumbing repair free of charge. The sun was gloriously shining here, too, which was a welcome relief after the blowing rain and snow we have experienced the rest of the week.

So, with new bouncy hair and no dastardly roots showing, I conquered my plumbing dilemma and then promptly paid myself with a new piece of art that Sunrise Sister tempted me with. I completed a few more items on my to do list and decided to walk down to our little town center to the bank and post office. After completing those tasks, I strolled by the movie theater and noticed that "The Reader" had opened today and the next showing was in 20 minutes. What's an empowered girl to do? You guessed it! Go to the movies! I was not disappointed and was only confirmed that Kate Winslet is the one to perform my memoir.

Now, I'm home with dinner in the oven and a beautiful salad awaiting my dear husband's arrival. My repair work today was in his bathroom, so he is going to be thrilled...at least I hope he is. Like I said, it may not be Paris...but life is pretty darn good on this side of the ocean too!

Yes, I am easily amused. How about you? What little pleasures brighten up your day? Where do you find empowerment? Enjoyment? Contentment?

top photo: from rodin museum - paris
bottom: http://www.katherinetreffinger.com/

interview continued

A few days ago, I participated in an online interview. In the comment section, Christine from Abbey of the Arts posed the following question. So, here is my response for all the world to see...

If you could snap your fingers and have the life you dream of, what would be its elements and how does it differ from how you live now? What are the roadblocks? I know you live very authentically, but am wondering what some of those deeper desires being kindled are.

You know, Christine, there has been something inside of me since I was a very little girl – before the hurt of life entered in – before I started to doubt and limit myself – before I started to live the life that I thought others expected of me – when I knew and believed that I would be a star. A big brilliant shining gleaming capital S – Star! Sometimes the star looked like Miss America receiving her banner and crown. Other times, the star was Cinderella being whisked away by Prince Charming. (The older me envisions myself chatting with Oprah.) Even deeper, however, was this knowledge that I had something really big to offer the world. I believed that the world needed and wanted to hear what I have to say.

Those desires got buried beneath the façade of a shy little girl. They went further underground as I bought into other people’s ideas of what success means. Success is getting married, so I went down that road at 19 (not so successfully). Success is having a career where you can get a well-paying job – I became an accountant (definitely not my passion, but the pay was good and steady.). Success is living the American dream with the two-story traditional house, a couple of kids, the mini-van and the golden retriever. I have had them all and they wonderfully fit into my personal description of success, because they are deeply a part of me. However…somewhere deep inside is still that desire and knowledge that I have something important to offer the world in a really big way.

So, what are the roadblocks? Time, maybe. Opportunity, possibly. Me, most likely. The problem is that I don’t really know what this offering might look like exactly. It feels like by living more authentically, I am doing just what I need to do…and it is right & true. More and more it feels like writing may be one avenue to my bigger voice. I also feel drawn, however, to personal connection with people and I have visions of being in front of large groups of people sharing what I have to say which happens to be exactly what they need to hear.

This all may sound a little crazy, especially for a woman who has crossed the half century mark of her life. This is the year of FIRE, however, so who knows what the little pieces of kindling are that I am laying on the altar of life. All I have to say is when they take hold and light up, Watch out World!! ☺

Thanks for asking, C.

How about the rest of you? What deeper desires are being kindled in your heart?

celebration!

Do you see the 'brilliance' and the 'rest' in this collage? Do you wonder where I have been? Have you considered what might have been keeping me away from responding to comments and offering new posts lately? Well...I am here to celebrate and announce a big secret to the whole world! I have been studying..studying...well, mostly I have been thinking about studying. But...today...the studying ended. I found my place of rest and brilliance. Today, I passed the big exam for my career path. Today, I passed my licensure exam for mental health counseling.

I am over the top and more than a little bit excited. I chose not to tell many people I was even attempting this feat, because what if I (gasp) failed? Today, the woman of rest and the child of wisdom & play united to guide me through the exam. It was an amazing day. I hope you will celebrate with me!!!