Sabbath. Rest. Delight.

I do not know much about Sabbath. I am learning how to Rest, and Delight is finding more space in me and with others. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by people—a community even—who are willing to look at things in new ways and break out of molds that have held them for most of their lives.

This morning I awoke very early and spent some quiet time in prayer and contemplation. The Bible verse for the reading today was this: For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him. (Psalm 103:11)

I was taking it in and really feeling the expanse of God’s love until I reached the words “for those who fear him.” I ponder why those words must be there. Who made the translation? Is fear required to receive the expanse of love? I tried to convince myself that a little “healthy fear” is good for everyone, but my mind continues again and again to the damage done when we are hammered and shamed with a fear-based God. And, how the God of love never leaves us. While a fear-based God is not the topic of this post, I wanted to mention that because it seems relevant to the way I spent my evening last night—my Sabbath. It was an evening where the presence of an expansive, loving God was very, very present.

Eight of us were called together for Sabbath—to light the candles, share food and wine and enter into a time of delight. I can see the evening unfold in my mind, but something stops me from putting it onto paper. Somehow, in this case, words seem to limit the experience. I do, however, feel the great desire to mark this occasion for those times when I might not remember so vividly. The evening was a true blessing and will continue far longer than the flame of those Sabbath candles.

As I opened my computer this morning I was greeted with the sweet aroma of last night’s Sabbath once again. It seems most apt to share these words of our host that arrived in my inbox this morning.

"Just settled down to do some Meister Eckhart meditation and the first one that popped up as I randomly opened the book was this:

God's peace
prompts service among brothers and sisters.
In that way one creature

sustains another.

One enriches the other,

and that is why
all creatures are interdependent.

That is so evidently real tonight. I am grateful for you all and our mutual sustaining and enriching.

So that was the first meditation I read, and it is now the last. Want to soak it in."

Me, too. I want to soak it all in. My hope is to continue to learn and experience more of Sabbath, Rest and Delight. That hope is for me, for you, for the World! It is a hope as we consider entering the season of Advent which begins one week from tomorrow. Amen & Shabbat Shalom!

What if Love is IT?

In my recent post, I mentioned that I have not spent a lot of time in the scriptures of late. However, while reading “Lectio Divina” I find that I am drawn to read more from the Bible and I am really o.k. with it. (Shudder shudder…I hear as I imagine some of my readers thinking ‘ how could you NOT be ok with it?) I shall explain just a bit here ☺. For those of you who do not know me well or may be new to this site, I will mention that Christianity is the source of my introduction to God. What a statement?!?!? “The source of my introduction to God.” While I do not want to attempt a discourse on my religious path at this specific time, suffice it to say that having been brought up and then married into a predominantly “fundamental” environment and subsequently adopting a more “broad view” of life, I continue my personal journey of discovery and wrestling with what does it mean to love God?

So, where am I going with this? Pondering why I have stayed away from Scripture, I came to realize that the exclusionary voices of fire and brimstone are associated with the Bible of my past and really like to creep into the present! “If you don’t believe in Jesus you are going to hell! Jesus is the ONLY way! You must confess your sins or die!” These words speak of harsh judgment. Judgment breeds judgment. I get Jesus and I don’t. I get heaven and I don’t. I want rest and peace and love for the world. I believe that Jesus is love. So, what if that is true? What if Jesus and God and Buddha and fill in your own personal favorite are LOVE? Period. Love. That’s it. Wouldn’t that be enough to change the world? What if LOVE is the ONLY way?

If we could truly come from a place of love instead of fear, would it be enough to change the world? What if we bring ourselves and do our best each day. Accepting rather than expecting—not in a wishy-washy, no responsibility kind of way. What if we take responsibility for ourselves and call each other to a higher place in love—pure love, not fear-based love. Not the condemning, you have to do this or that or you’re going to hell kind of “love”. What if Jesus is love? Period. What if “the thing for which I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus” is love? That “thing” could change the world.

So, that’s where my heart is right now. It may sound simplistic or sacrilegious or like I have lost my mind, but I challenge you to give this a try: See what happens when you insert the word Love in place of “Christ & it.” What if LOVE is it?

“Not that I have already obtained it, or have already become perfect, but I press on in order that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12

formation

“to be nobody but myself— in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me somebody else— means to fight the hardest battle any human can fight, and never stop fighting.”

--e.e. cummings

I love to read. One of my favorite things to do is to light a candle, put on some gentle music, pour a hot cup of coffee and snuggle into my bed surrounded by my current pile of reading material. The challenge for me, however, comes as I switch back and forth between texts (with an intermittent stop at my favorite blog sites) and then try to remember where exactly was that brilliant point I want to incorporate into my musings.

Currently I am reading Trapped in the Mirror—Adult Children of Narcissists in their struggle for self and Life is a Verb by the delightful Patti Digh of 37 days. This morning I began Lectio Divina by my dear friend Christine Paintner of Abbey of the Arts and I recently finished The Wise Heart – A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology by Jack Kornfield. At first glance these texts might appear to be quite diverse in topic and indeed they are. However, my ponderings this morning brought out the common thread I see in these books.

Perhaps it is merely my perspective, but I see that all move toward the goal of greater life – fullness – connection with God – mental health – mindfulness – coming alive – fulfilling who we are meant to be. They all speak of formation and lead me to ask the following questions: How will I be formed? How am I being formed? What is my role in personal formation? Do I read for information? Do I write to be formed or to inform? Who or what do I seek?

When I allow myself to slow down, I realize that it is God I seek. The ultimate wholeness and completeness of the universe. When I experience God, I am home. I see the beauty of the stillness. I hear the still small voice - the words that seemingly come out of nowhere. The meaning that has no words – only experience. I know that I am here for a purpose even though I may not quite know what it is.

So I invite you to ponder along with me. How are you informed? Do you see patterns in your life that warrant exploration? Who or what do you seek in your daily life? In your readings? Your work or play? Do you choose to fight the battle to be yourself? Or do you allow others to make you into someone else?

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.
--Rainer Maria Rilke

perfect stillness

How do you capture the stillness that is God? One step onto the gravel path reverberates like the clashing of cymbals. It is a cacophony of sound against the deep, dark nothingness that surrounds me. It is nothing and it is everything. I can feel God in the air that is neither wet nor humid nor dry. It does not feel heavy and yet I am immensely aware of the air. Not a breath of wind moves through it. Perfect absolute stillness. It is God.

I tiptoe through the wet grass not wanting to break this mood. It is reverent. Holy. The pool of light from my lamp leads the way. It is absorbed into the night leaving me inside a bubble of gentle illumination. It is perfect soft light. It is holy and for a moment so am I. But I am not alone. My light has disturbed a resting goose who startles and makes it known that he is not pleased by my presence. His honks and wings in flight carry through the stillness and across the water that continues to sleep. My heart races for a moment. The goose’s call quieting long before the thump thump thump of my pounding heart.

And then it returns. The stillness. The calm. God. I tiptoe across the wet grass. My own presence disturbing me. How odd it is. I want to be absorbed into the air; the moisture; the dewy grass. I am one with the night. It is a gift. It is perfect. It is God.

what are your "nevers"?

“My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am”

--Barlow Girl “Surrender”

Yesterday I wrote about being alive and inside that post were many questions about what holds me back. This morning as I awakened really early I could feel the promptings of the still small voice. I lay in bed with images of art and activities pouring through my mind. Finally I surrendered to the morning and got out of my cozy bed even though it was still pitch dark outside. I gathered my journal and tiptoed downstairs so as not to wake my sleeping husband and then I began to write. The lists of the day tumbled onto the paper mixed in with all of those questions of why I hold back when it comes to art—to MY art.

I have great plans. I have books to help me, supplies to use, ideas in abundance, but still I wait. “It will be a waste of time.. money…effort.” And then there is the flip side of the story. I am impatient. I want to hurry the process…to get to the end result and not let the art create me. Yikes! Sometimes I feel like such a mess!!

And so, I wrote and wrestled and this little voice kept saying, “Go paste the page onto the board.” (Several weeks ago I bought new supplies for creating and have tentatively been considering working with them. The board has been painted in a couple of colors and a few days ago I started considering adding text.) In the midst of all of my wrestling was another train of thought to “practice saying yes”--a theme I have been enjoying in Patti Digh’s new book. So, even while I am writing about “saying yes” I am ignoring the prompts to “paste the text on the board”. I am saying “no” to my art—again! And then God in all of her creative graciousness prompted me a little more directly—my pen ran out of ink—my last words being, “Go paste the page…” ☺

Now God gets even pushier here. I went to the book that I have designated as my “practice” pages (i.e. I can tear it up with great abandon.) It is a really heady book (not), called “The Devil in the Junior League.” ☺ I recalled it contained a few lists and since lists seem to be a theme for me these days I hopped right on it. Not paying much regard to the list content, I tore out a page and then pared it down to a manageable size and began to apply acrylic medium. When I flipped it over to paste the back, this is what I found:

“Unwilling to share any of that, I launched into the points that my mother and the charming women at Little Miss Debutante had drummed into my head, otherwise known as the Four Nevers:

1. Never dominate a conversation.
2. Never speak in a voice that can be heard more than three feet away.
3. Never do anything that anyone would notice if they were more than three feet away.
4. Never boast of your accomplishments.”

It might as well have included one more that said, “NEVER MAKE ART!” It was like all of the voices of my past (and evidently present) were rolled into one and printed on that page that I had chosen “by accident.” And so, after a few deep breaths, a couple of tears and a good laugh with God, I tiptoed back upstairs to get my computer so I could record this little encounter (and capture the words of “the page”, because you never know what may happen next with that little piece of art.)

And, the promptings did not end there, of course!! My computer screensaver is a nifty little thing that randomly displays album covers from my i-tunes list. I noticed a cover by Barlow Girl and wondered what music she sings. (I have lots of music given to me and rarely do I remember artists or song titles unlike my dear husband who can recall every song he has heard since 1960 ☺.) So, I found Barlow Girl’s one song I own and it, of course, is titled “Surrender.” Need I say more?

I would love to hear your response to my morning’s events or even better your own encounters and wrestlings with the inner critic, God, art, whatever! Or maybe you would like to share your personal “Four Nevers?” I hope you will say, "Yes!"

photos from pere lachaise cemetary--paris, 2.08