what is my work?

Much of my ponderings these days is around “what is my work?” What am I called here to do? “Here” being the world of my space and time. I am uniquely created just as each of us is. A few weeks ago I had my first birth chart reading done by an astrologist. (I can almost here the audible gasps from some of my more conservative readers ☺, but I hope you will hang in here with me. This is part of my unique journey…to test, to ponder, to find my own path by pushing the boundaries of convention and be able to proudly say, “Sorry if you disagree, but this is Me. Take me or leave me”. Again...I hope you will choose to stay.)

As I write this morning, I realize this is why I have not stepped into this territory. It feels like there is so much to be covered…explained even…because I still live with so much desire of not wanting to be misunderstood (particularly by those I love.) And so it feels as though this post will take a slight turn from where I started with my ponderings of “what is my work?”

The birth chart reading was not done by Madame X in a heavily veiled, candle lit room with a crystal ball. It was instead done in a bland office park by an average looking middle-aged man with a theology degree from Notre Dame and a masters in marriage and family therapy from Seattle Pacific University. I had scheduled my appointment only two days before, otherwise, I might have been suspicious he had hired a group of detectives to research my background to come up with the information he related to me.

It was both confirming and a little freaky as he spoke key words that I have used for my life and other phrases that resonated deeply with me. It was like reading or hearing a passage of scripture and having it speak deeply to my heart. Abbey of the Arts had an excellent post last week on “Landscapes, Maps and Pilgrimages”. She articulates beautifully my experience as she speaks of her own birth chart reading:

“I accepted for the fun of it but was surprised by the complexity and beauty of what the reading offered to me in terms of understanding my own longings and the directions I felt called to go. Suddenly I imagined a God vast enough to have offered these archetypal symbols to me at the moment of my birth as one possible map, as guidance from one much wiser than myself. Astrology is not about your life being pre-determined, but a template that provides an invitation to go to the places that nurture your soul most deeply. “

And so I circle back around to the longings of my heart and the directions I may choose to go. My life is abundantly paradoxical. For example, I desire to live life fully engaged with the world AND I cherish my solitude. I have cried rivers of tears and am willing to enter the darkness of my soul AND I am one of the most joy-filled people I know ☺. I know God and God knows me AND I must continue to press on to see who God is and who I am. I need to share my gifts with the world AND I am called to rest and be still.

And those words are just the tip of the iceberg ☺. So, if you have hung in here with me through this longer-than-normal post, thank you. I shall end with a few words from my morning ponderings with more thoughts left for another day.

what is my work?
what can I do?
how do I create a picture of a thousand words?
how do I put onto paper what no one before me has done?
how do I what?
bless this space—my hearth—my home
how do I live here? now?
being present to the life I have
feeling my home. tending my hearth.
bless this space.
this place of beauty.

Blessings to you and your space today. I would love to know what this post has stirred in you.

lucy's photos from bermuda