An Ancestral Healing Primer

by Kayce Stevens Hughlett

I've personally been doing ancestral healing work for almost two decades (possibly longer in a less formal way), and the nudge to share what I'm discovering has been quite persistent recently. I don't know exactly what that means (although it's been sneaking into my teaching and conversations on an increasingly regular basis). This week after several conversations, I noticed a theme sprouting and one morning woke up to an ancestral primer forming in my mind. This post is a tiny beginning. It is in no way comprehensive! But the only way I know how to begin is to begin, so here are a few words that flowed into my journal recently. Questions are always welcome. Naysayers need not read on. 

Day of the Dead Celebration - Guanajuato, MX 2022I operate from lived experience, follow nudges, listen to my heart and gut. If you think maybe you’d like to know more about personal or generational healing, keep reading. What follows are a few thoughts that flexed their muscles and shouted, “Share this. Here is a way to begin.” 

Keep it simple. Always use your power (and the ancestors’) for the highest good. This is not trivial work, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. It does need to be sincere and honest. 

Set your intention to begin. It can be as simple as: I'd like to know more about my ancestors. Ground yourself and create a safe container through prayer or whatever practices bring you in alignment with your Highest Power, God, Great Divine, Sacred Feminine, the Goodness that resonates with you. Offer an invitation. Be patient. Ancestors may arrive swiftly or they may be quite shy. Start slowly. Invite one ancestor (known or unknown) for a cup of tea or coffee. Ask them to go on a walk. Sit by a tree or stream or ocean or your favorite place in nature and listen. Notice what is offered. Messages may come in words, signs and symbols, or in silence.

Welcome the WAWAs (Wise and Well Ancestors). Always ask for a wise and well one to come along, to protect and guide, to keep you company, and guard from those you may not be ready to encounter. (You know ... those unsavory family members whose stories are distressing or dire, etc.)  Invite your Higher Power to come along. Remember you have the personal power to send away anything or anyone who feels aggressive or icky. I recently had the essence of a stinky stranger show up in my vacation bedroom; his scent filled my nostrils. No thanks. Please go away, I said to him. I recognize you’re there. Perhaps we’ll chat later when you’re a bit cleaner or I’m more awake and prepared. He left immediately and I went back to sleep.

a page from my ancestors' art journal Be willing to appear a bit (shall we say?) eccentric. It’s okay to talk to peeps that no one else sees. Unless, of course, you’re surrounded by “living” beings with no imagination who can be very serious about what is “real” and what’s off limits. In that case, you might want to reserve your adventures for trusted companions like pets or feathers or the sea or me. Active imagination is a gorgeous thing when dealing with ancestors.

It’s okay to acknowledge your dreams, whether waking or sleeping. Pay attention. Create stories on paper or in your mind. Give life to people you’ve never met. Just like us, most ancestors want to be seen and acknowledged. Trust. Say their names aloud (if you know them). They will help you. Use Oracle or Tarot cards, magazine images, art, animal friends, symbols and signs, music, poetry, grasshoppers and butterflies. Follow the threads. Red is my favorite talisman color. What’s yours?

Be hospitable. Getting to know the ancestors doesn’t have to be hard. Invite only guests who don’t mind if your house is kinda messy (I suggest the same for daily life 😉). Judgy white-gloved types can wait. Invite the WAWAs who want to know you and you want to know in return. Always hold the intention of the highest good. Bullies need not apply or push their way in. Ask them to back off, fall in line, and wait their turn. I choose to hear the silenced voices, oppressed women, children who died too young, hidden artists who were never allowed to follow their passions. [Sidenote: while writing this piece, I had a niggle that my paternal grandfather (who literally hung signs for a living and died from a head injury of falling bricks and a sign) was likely an unrealized artist perhaps inspired by his sister, Grace, who painted and traveled well into her 90s).]

Remember the movie, Field of Dreams? Build it and he will come. This has been my experience, too, without the need to plow under crops and build a baseball stadium. LOL 

Stop worrying about getting it wrong (or right). Be generous. Quit trying to make sense to anyone including yourself. If you feel called to ancestral work, then follow that call. If not, no worries. It may not be your thing. I do this gorgeous work for myself and my lineage. I can’t not do it now. I’d love for others (maybe you) to be able to do the same, to have access to heal family lines. Our world needs a boatload of healing right now. 

The only way to begin is to begin. So, set an intention for safe journeys, offer your process for the highest good, make a cup of tea, light a candle, and invite a WAWA to come and sit a spell. Oh… and feel free to invite them to step away when you’ve had enough. You set the container. You get to close it too. Blow out your candle, offer thanks and gratitude. Wash your teacup. Carry on. 

Aho. That’s all for now. Feel free to reach out if I can be of assistance ❤️