Silence is not an option
Wednesday, August 16, 2017 at 10:57 AM by Kayce Stevens Hughlett
Wordsmith that I am, I have no words and saying nothing is not an option. Thoughts and scenes roll through my mind and heart as I witness the vitriol that’s being spewed in the United States right now. I’ve hidden behind my sensitive nature (too much news and/or violence send me into a tailspin). I’ve hoped that sending love and light into the world will be enough. It is a beautiful sentiment and act, and it is silent. Silence is no longer an option for me, so today I share my bumbling way through this charged topic. I do not and cannot know what it is like to be a person of color, but I am willing to step into the conversation as best I can and share a few of my own experiences.
1) I’m nervous to speak out. What if I get it wrong? What if I offend? What if you don’t like me or get mad at me or say something nasty? So what? Silence is not an option.
2) I was raised in a culture that believes white people are superior. I do NOT believe this.
3) I am a privileged white woman. I know this. I can’t change my color. Can I change my privilege? Would I want to? Am I brave enough to die for another person’s freedom? I don’t know, but I’m willing to wrestle with my thoughts. Are you?
4) I am a pacifist who abhors name-calling for any reason and I find myself wanting to sling hatred right now. My heart breaks to see images of white, twisted faces carrying torches, hell-bent on hurting others. Hatred is NOT superior to Love.
5) I had a friend in second grade named Linda. She was black and she was simply my friend. For more than 50 years, I have wondered where Linda went. She was in my life for such a brief period of time. I loved her and can still feel her hand in mine and remember skipping and giggling across the playground together until one day she was gone. My hunch is that our white Oklahoma community was not welcoming to her family. I hope I was wrong. I’m embarrassed that Linda stands out so much to me. I wish I’d grown up in a culture where color didn’t matter, but I didn’t.
6) I visited Cuba in 2016 and stood on the land where slaves had been tortured. I felt physically ill and couldn’t get back to the safety of our bus fast enough. Yes, I carry white privilege and I carry the heartache of other people’s suffering.
7) Saying nothing is not an option.
8) I visited India this past spring. My blonde hair and fair skin stood out in that culture. I was stared at and whispered about, but to my knowledge I was never hated because of the color of my skin. I never feared for my life. That is white privilege.
9) I hear words of white supremacy and privilege directed at me during a visit to a Washington State prison. Bile rises in my throat. White is NOT superior.
10) In grad school, a female bi-racial teacher called me out as a privileged white woman. Her tactics were questionable, but the example left an impact. It happened to me once. It happens to women and men of color DAILY. I am so very sorry. I can’t change my color, but I can raise my voice.
Staying Silent is NOT an option. White is NOT superior. Love trumps hatred.
Reader Comments (1)
Hello, my name is Drabuziu Taisymas Very interesting piece!! Stress is a normal response to difficult situations. We often confuse it as some form of mental pressure caused due to our own inability to deal with things. But that’s not what it is. Stress is not an action, it’s a reaction. Stress is our reaction to various external factors.
Before we get to the whole coping part, first we need to understand a few things about stress that are essential. According to me Stress is not always bad.
Stress is the body’s way of reacting to a challenge. When faced with a tough situation, there are a whole lot of reactions that the body goes through. Increased pulse rate, adrenaline boost, faster response to stimuli and among those, stress is one.
But the same stress that ‘stresses us out’, also makes us quicker and more prone to handle situations better. Stress makes us do our best. So it isn’t always a bad thing.