Passing Between Security & Danger à Paris (& everywhere)
Friday, October 24, 2014 at 10:38 AM by Kayce Stevens Hughlett
“She had made herself, as it were, light, so as not to dwell either in security or danger, but to pass between them.” Alice Meynell
Writing at Rue MouffetardJe suis une écrivaine. I am a writer. Today I am writing in Paris. This morning I’ve returned to the site of my perfect morning. It’s different today. The sky is gray. The street, less festive. I am here now. I hesitate to bring out my computer at the sidewalk café, but it isn’t busy and the worst they can do is ask me to leave. I need to write… to capture this moment… perfect for its own distinction.
My feelings are mixed. Tomorrow I leave Paris and head to Dublin then Galway. Galway, not Paris, was the original reason for this trip and I must remind myself of this. Paris has been a stopping point, a way station. The lovely thing is that I treat it with respect and cherish every moment… even the ones I don’t particularly love.
Strollers near les Deux MagotsYes, there are moments I don’t love while I’m in Paris, just like at home. Paris, for me, is not about glamour or perfection or even romance. It is about life. I found my personal rhythm in Paris not-so-many years ago and that is the primary reason I return here again and again. It is why I bring others here to have their own experience. Yes, it is beautiful and full of romance. I love the way the City sings to me as I walk down the streets. And…
Its cobblestones can be brutal on tired feet and I swear the Universe picks up the streets and spins them round and round, dropping them at new intersecting points when I’m trying to find my way. I cannot begin to count the miles and miles I’ve walked in wrong directions.
Paris is a beautiful metaphor for my life. It is filled with both love and tragedy. To get lost is to be found. To see and embrace one’s own beauty is to know the light of life; a light that continues to shine even when darkness presses in.
The French love a good tragedy… and they know how to embrace love at every turn. We, Americans, can find them cold, because they do not walk down the street with large grins on their faces… unless, of course, they are with someone they love. I must remind myself of this difference when I struggle with the language and my own insecurities. They are also playful people who adore puppies, children, and a good laugh.
Origami Love Letters Paris stretches me, especially when I travel here alone. It presses me to face my own core fear of always being alone, and it invites me to be my own faithful companion. It teaches me to be a person I can listen to and rely upon.
Yesterday, I walked and walked and walked. I ran into familiar places and found myself turning in circles like a puppy chasing its tail. Exhausted, I realized I had a choice to make. I could continue to walk like I knew where I was going or I could pause, take a breath, and pull my map out for the 100th time that day. I chose to pause and try looking for the right bus one more time. When I slowed and rested into the fact that I was indeed lost, something kind of magical happened. The exact bus I needed pulled up right in front of me. Although my metro ticket had expired after its allotted 1 ½ hours due to my wandering, I had another to take its place. I was invited to remember I have everything I need.
Even now as I sit in this still spot, I know I have everything I need for this day. Buoyed by two café crèmes et un croissant, I know I can move forward. I don’t know where the day will take me. I am dwelling in neither security nor danger. Perhaps I am passing between them. Perhaps I will go in circles. Perhaps I will find my own rhythm.
Les Deux Ecrivains (Two Writers)Paris, je t’aime. Merci for teaching me how to be present to this beautiful world and my life that is right here, right now.
How will you engage your day? Are you resting in security to the point of boredom? Does fear lead your way? Or does love? What might happen if you decided you have everything you need? What if you became your most trustworthy companion?
Bon journeé, mes amies!!
~~~
Are you curious about learning new ways of being in the world? Then consider joining Sharon Richards and me for our next Urban Pilgrimage: Where Soul Greets Soul in Paris, France. Together we'll explore and practice the unique gifts and joys that bring us alive.
We just opened a brand new set of dates, May 9 - 16, 2015. Experience the joy of being present to yourself in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. We promise, you've never seen Paris (or yourself) like this!!!
Reader Comments (1)
Dear Kayce,
How wonderful it is to read you. I love it.
Thank you for sharing this with us. I feel so grateful and blessed.
Have a beautiful day.
Céline