Daring Greatly: Bursting Bubbles of ‘Never Enough’

This past week I was walking past some quaint neighborhood businesses—a children’s art studio, bakery, café—when I spied bubbles floating through the air. Big, shiny, juicy bubbles. I love bubbles!

            “Bubbles. Look bubbles,” shrieked a gaggle of pre-teen girls waiting for their art camp to begin. “Wow!” “Look, a big one!” “Yea, a big one. Let’s chase it.” “I hope it doesn’t pop”… and on it went while spirits lifted with the rising bubbles.

As quickly as the glee began, it was curtailed when one of the girls said with a suspicious air, “Why is he blowing bubbles?” “Yea, why is he blowing bubbles?” “That’s weird.” “Yea, he’s weird.” Their joyful attitude shifted. The bubble burst.

As I began to review this week’s chapter of Daring Greatly, called “Scarcity: Looking Inside our Culture of ‘Never Enough,’” I was reminded of this scene. Ultimately the bubbles weren’t big enough and the man choosing to share them was labeled “weird.” The girls were initially drawn to the playfulness of something different and exciting, but peer pressure won out when the leader of the group shifted from fascination to derision and the others joined in.

This is not unlike our political parties that choose sides and malign one another, or racial profiling, or family members arguing over an inheritance, or the unemployed or underemployed passing blame to anyone or everyone. “They all share the same formula of shame, comparison, and disengagement.” (B. Brown) 

Many of our cultures (community, family, work, classroom) are driven by an unhealthy competitive spirit. Us against them. More is better. I am only as good as the number of ‘likes’ I get on Facebook or Instagram. My worth depends on the neighborhood I live in, the clothes I wear, the achievements of my children or mate… and they will never be enough. This is the culture of scarcity.

“We get scarcity because we live it.” Brené Brown 

Scarcity is “The Never-enough Problem.” I don’t have enough­­­ _________ (time, money, beauty, friends, stuff) or I’ll never be ________ enough. Ring a bell? What are the tapes that play in your head? Never_________ enough.  (While writing this post, I had a pesky message of “It won’t be good enough or complete enough or enough enough” running through mine.)

“The opposite of scarcity is enough or what I call Wholeheartedness… at its very core is vulnerability and worthiness: facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks, and knowing that I am enough.” Brené Brown

What would it be like to face each day knowing that you have enough? Period. You have enough time, energy, and resources to do exactly what you need to do today. Say this out loud to yourself. I have enough. I am enough. I have everything I need. Now, repeat the opposite. I don’t have enough. I’m not enough. I will never have what I need. Check in with your body. How do those statements feel? 

Once again: I have enough. I am enough. I have everything I need.

During our last book club, The Art of Possibility, we explored the idea that “it’s all invented.” The above statements are just words and thoughts, so if it’s all invented why not choose the ‘invention’ that feels better?  

I invite you to play with these ideas of scarcity and enough this week.

“We’re called to ‘dare greatly’ every time we make choices that challenge the social climate of scarcity.” Brené Brown

Challenge your own social climate. Dare greatly. 

I hope you’ll be daring right now and leave a comment. Let us know what gets in your way of daring greatly.

1)   Shame: Fear of ridicule? Self-worth tied to achievement (your standards or someone else’s)? Self-blame? Perfectionism?

2)   Comparison: Constant comparing and ranking with others? Suffocated creativity? Narrow, box-like standards?

3)   Disengagement: Afraid of risk-taking? Easier to stay quiet? Belief that no one’s paying attention or cares?

Where do you long to break out of the box and dare greatly?

Next week’s topic: “Debunking the Vulnerability Myths” with Amy Steindler.

This post is part of On the Same Page, a book club blog series sponsored by The Wayfinder Post. We are reading Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown. All posts can be found at The Wayfinder Post. Thank you, WayPo!

Weekly schedule of topics and authors.