Even Superheroes Have Sidekicks
Monday, February 4, 2013 at 3:01 AM “Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.”
David Starr Jordan
Why is taking our own advice often the hardest thing to do? It’s typically quite simple to see what someone else may need in a given situation, but often significantly more challenging to remember the same for ourselves. It reminds me of that old adage, Do as I say and not as I do; which by the way makes me cringe every time I think about it.
The good news is I’ve learned to be mindful of circumstances where I zero in on what I think someone else needs to do. This usually indicates it’s time to turn the mirror toward myself and take an earnest look at my own situation.
A prime example occurred recently with my sister. She has a heartfelt yearning to launch her second one-woman art show. She’s done it before with fabulous success and now she wants to do it again. Hurray for her! The problem I see is that she’s getting in her own way and focusing a lot on the “one-woman” portion.
A crucial step she seems to have forgotten is that the last time she did it there was a cadre of supporters cheering her on, holding her accountable and envisioning the dream with her. This time she’s attempting to do it alone.
During our last visit, she was infused with tangible energy toward her goal and a plan to implement as soon as she got home. Once on her own, however, she started to second-guess her course of action. Instead of going with her initial instincts, she began trying to get every single detail hammered out—creating a brochure, designing floor plans, etc.
In her attempt to “get it all right,” she became bogged down in the minutiae and lost sight of her desire while circumstances piled up that left her feeling discouraged and deflated with her goal further out of sight.
She knew what to do, but didn’t trust it.
She knew how to do it, but forgot a key ingredient from her prior success...
She was trying to do it all alone...
Hence the wakeup call to follow my own advice...
As I considered my sister’s situation, the spotlight zeroed in on me with glaring intensity. My own goal—completing a novel—is suffering. Why? I’m trying to do it alone.
I need an accountability partner—not someone to do the work for me, but rather an individual (or several) to remind me of my own values. To hold my dreams with me, offer encouragement when I can’t give it to myself and kick me in the butt when I forget how important my goal is.
I know if I want to finish a book, I must write. But it’s gotten really hard (like goals tend to do). I’ve moved past the dreaming stage and now it feels very real, scary and daunting at times.
To avoid those feelings, I let all sort of distractions get in my way. I run from my own goal. On the days when I’m clear and focused this is easy to see in myself and I can guide my own way back on track. But on the days when watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy or walking around the block for the 100th time or going to the dentist for fun feels like the best option... that’s when I need someone else in my corner.
I tell everyone I know—clients, family, friends, strangers on the street, Get help!! Be accountable to someone! Do something—anything—that moves you toward your dreams!
I have no doubt our truest dreams are worth bringing to the world. Deep inside we each have the wisdom to know what to do and possibly even the skill to know how to do it...
But no matter how wise, skilled or evolved we are, some days are just plain scary and we still get stuck. It’s especially during those times that we can each use a little help.
Be accountable to yourself first!
Personally, I know I always have everything I need to succeed by being fully me. All I have to do is acknowledge it to myself and (for the times I will forget) to share it with someone else for backup.
I invite you to ponder where you may be getting in your own way... and remember:
Even superheroes have sidekicks!
Reader Comments (1)
Great reminder of what it means to have a tribe around:). Xoxo