Freaky Friday

Some days are so outrageous they need to be recorded to remind me of what “normal” actually looks like. I woke up this morning feeling all creaky and a little out of sorts. My body felt like it had been run over by a truck. Nevertheless, I positioned myself to meditate and attempted calm breathing and clear thoughts for 20 minutes. (I’d probably give myself a C- if I were grading my efforts... although “good” meditators wouldn’t consider doing any such thing.) Next I went downstairs to make coffee and discovered that my preferred Nespresso pods had been depleted. {Deep sigh} I opted for boiling water and instant decaf while my husband kissed me quickly and ducked out the door as he remembered he was the one in charge of ordering more pods.

No worries. It takes more than a missing coffee pod to get me down. Crawling back in bed with my journal, I found that writer’s block had taken up residence in my brain. Hmmm... perhaps a pondering prompt would help. So, I opened up As I Lay Pondering and noted that today’s reflection was entitled, “Dialogue with the Destroyer.” (In hindsight this may have been a warning.) Very interesting, I mused and began to reflect on the question: ‘What needs to be destroyed for me to shine fully?’ My brilliant response? Stuff. Excess. Too much stuff. Oh I was on a roll... {NOT!} Pushing through the chatter in my brain and transferring a few expletives onto the page, I kept moving pen across paper while Aslan took up his normal spot atop my journal... and then the weirdness began.

The window box fan that I’d turned off an hour earlier suddenly came to life. Blasting on high speed, the cat and I looked at each other as the hair on his back and my neck stood up on end. Just when I was going to go turn off the fan, it stopped. Is that you, God? If so, you have my attention. Breathing deeply, I began to write about the profound silence that followed the high speed fan incident when {WHAM} on it came again! This time I jumped up and went to check the control. Sure enough, it registered “high” even though I knew it had been in the off position moments before. {YIKES}

After the two spontaneous fan eruptions, I gathered my wits about me and jotted down a list for the morning (thinking some normalcy was in order). Breakfast. Clean closet. Go for a walk. Write post. Answer email. Etc. Deciding that a green smoothie was the perfect solution for my stiff limbs and rumbling tummy, I entered the kitchen and navigated around my daughter (who was grumbling and mumbling about me freaking her out). Patiently (well, sort of patiently) I filled the blender with yummy fruits, greens, and nuts and turned on the switch. Whirring away, I salivated over the delicious blend until smoke arose from the base and I discovered the blender had whirled its last whirl. {AARGH. ACK. Fill-in-the blank!} What was going on!?!??!

Never fear. My Cuisinart was near... but alas the morning refused to get any better and my smoothie was destined to be a ‘crunchy.’ Exasperated, I tossed the whole concoction into the sink. How many deep breaths does it take to calm a hungry, coffee-deprived, super-charged Virgo? I was really trying here. Hungry—there’s nothing I cared to eat. The kitchen turned disaster. The cat tried his best to soothe me until even he gave me an uncharacteristic nip on the hand. The hammers at the neighbors’ new house started in earnest just as I remembered I had a practice yoga class to teach today. {Geez Louise... Students Beware} Pause. Breathe. What’s a girl to do? No coffee? No smoothie? Wonky electronics. Cranky cat.

Like I began this post, some days are so outrageous that they need to be recorded to keep perspective. Perspective? Who needs it? I’m not buying the old silver-lining-in-every-cloud routine. Nope. Not today. No way. No coaching myself out of this one. So... I crawled back into bed with a partial pint of Java Chip Frappuccino ice cream and pulled the covers over my head (which in hindsight was most definitely the silver lining). {Wink}

The End