mama bear

This mom is crabby crabby crabby. A stark contrast to the peaceful stillness of only a few days ago. Surrounded by incompetence and teenage angst…not being able to decide whose is whose. The term “mama bear” keeps roiling around in her brain along with the gesture of throwing her arm across the passenger seat to protect her child in the event of a sudden stop. What is it about mother’s that sends their right arm flying into open position when they think their child is in danger? Do British mum’s fling open their left?

Still she ponders and wonders why the anger has arisen so sharply in the last week. Is it that she is surrounded by grownups battling their own demons and attempting to throw their anger into her lap? At work, they sit and smile, but she feels their seething undercurrent even while they say everything is “o.k.” At school, her youngest battles for autonomy while coming up against the man/boys they call role models. It is enough to make a parent’s blood boil. For sure it makes a mama bear growl!

Still she wonders if she is coddling or letting go too soon. The balance is a tough one. The teen has her own immature hijinx, but here she is called to be the “adult” as she plays the game of high school politics. Yuk! Mama bear wants to step in and give the offenders a big swat of her paw, but settles for a little art making and mental health break instead.

A trip to the masseuse ends with the recommendation of “Take it easy and watch movies all day” ☺. Advice heeded, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly continues the melancholy mood as she finds herself feeling stuck in her own diving bell. Mama bear is ready to hibernate. Like I said, this mom is crabby crabby crabby!

visual journal page by lucy 10.03.08

out of the mouths of babes

This smile was just too good to pass up! found at L Squared:

"mesa is new to the brace-face look...she wasn't too happy when she had to get "grills" last month and is still adjusting. on sunday, after taking communion at church, she leaned over and whispered to me "mom...jesus just got stuck in my braces." try staying reverent at that moment."

on the lighter side

It gets pretty exhausting sometimes talking and thinking about all that authenticity and inauthenticity. It can be heady stuff, you know? Sometimes you just have to go for some plain old mindless inappropriate fun! Who better to model that than a couple of teenagers? Especially when they happen to be your own and you find that you really do have a lot in common (even though they think you are from another planet.) Every now and then, however, the planets align and some really good fun comes out of it.

Warning: If you consider this blog to be a serious, contemplative place where only deep and thoughtful things are discussed, you may want to discontinue reading at this point lest your impressions be permanently changed.

At the urging of my 19 year old son (who finds me less and less alien-like as he matures), we went to a 10:00 p.m. movie. That in itself is pretty bold for me since I generally am cuddled into bed by that time...especially on a "school" night (btw--no one here is currently in school, but still the voices say 'Wednesday is a school night.') When I heard dear son say, "Come on, Mom. Live a little" with his crooked grin I could see through the phone, I answered, "Sure. What the heck!" Somewhere in there "Mr. Charming" managed to convince his sister to move away from the computer and come along with us. (Do you think it could have been impacted by the fact that "all of her friends" are out of town this week? I mean...going into public at night with her brother AND her mother?!?!??! Horror of horrors!)

Well, like I said before, sometimes all of the planets just align and the three of us toodled off (Dad had a 4:30 a.m. wake up call. Party pooper!) to the opening night of...you still have a chance to quit reading here...the new highly acclaimed stoner-action film, "Pineapple Express." And, o.k. I have to admit I really enjoyed it. Yep, Me, Lucy, contemplative counselor actually laughed out loud in the midst of an auditorium where I think the next oldest person there was maybe 25. The movie was totally inappropriate with marijuana and murder holding center stage, but a better stoner than James Franco there has not been since Sean Penn played Jeff Spicoli in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." And, yes, while I am giving true confessions, I liked that movie too.

So, there you have it. The 'other side' of Lucy. Occasionally I enjoy a good old raucous pointless movie. Now, am I recommending it? I will leave that to your own discretion. My enjoyment may have been induced by the incredible crescent moon, the warm summer night, the relief from the seriousness of late, the joy of hanging out with my kids and the fact that I am still slightly warped from my own teenage years. Anyway, if you're still with me, I hope you will come back again. You never know what might show up here. In the meantime if you care to share your own entertainment indulgences, feel free! Peace.

p.s. we also had a little fun with "photobooth"

so who's the kid here? part 2

Reading the replies to yesterday’s post, I viscerally recoiled when I read Tess’ words, “I do not like the feel of sun on my skin.” Oh horror of horrors!!! How can that possibly be? It is so hard for someone living in this Northwest climate (where even the seconds of the day when the gray lifts momentarily have been named “sun breaks”) to imagine!!! Not like the feel of the sun? Impossible!!! (Now Tess knows I love her dearly and she is equally appalled when I complain about the downside of winter, so no worries that she will be offended I have drawn her ghastly comment into the forefront ☺)

Yesterday afternoon I sat on my deck in the sunshine; cool breeze blowing over me; surrounded by blooming flowers—some freshly planted and others older than time; the sky amazingly blue and clear above me; book in hand; cool drink by my side; old dog happily sniffing the breeze; and the main thought that ran through my head (at least the one I remember today ☺) is “I love the feel of the sun on my skin.” For a few gentle moments I reveled in it and just let myself be.

And then I heard the warnings: Skin cancer. Aging. SPF. And my recent favorite, a quote from the Gilmore Girls…“You know-- "convertible people"—too tan. Bad hair.” Yikes! Can’t be having any of that!! So, I got up out of my chair, put on a little more sunscreen, filled my glass of water one more time, considered getting my hat or moving into the shade, but…in that moment life was all too perfect.

I was warmed by the sun deep into my very soul. I was once again the young girl whose grandmother called her “Little Brown Bear”. I could sense the joy of a child and feel the tickle of sprinklers and the splash of the ocean. Not much better than that in my book.

So, who’s the kid here? ME. No doubt about it ☺ !!!

'bermuda waves' by lucy
'my little girl' by h3images

so who's the kid here?

There is nothing like a teenager to cramp your style. Let me begin with this. I love my daughter AND she makes me crazy. I know. I know. No one can make you crazy, but teenagers (and I will be more specific here) teenage daughters certainly give it their best shot.

I have nearly survived my son's adolescence and believe me
when I say that was no easy feat!!! (He turned 19 in May and is
living on his own and supporting himself. Hurray!) My daughter was always the "easy one" but now she seems to be making up for lost time.

Now not to sound melodramatic, but who in their right mind refuses to drive with the convertible top down on a perfect Seattle day? Or uses statements like 'I'm not physically or emotionally ok to play today'? Who then stays on the phone half the night only to complain she's too tired to get up? Would you like to take a guess? Have you ever known anyone with similar symptoms?

I understand these are "normal" and minor infractions, but jeez louise I am finally learning how to play again and now a KID is trying to rain on my parade. Isn't that supposed to be my job?

Hopefully in a few years we will look back on this era and laugh together. In the meantime I think I'll finish this little rant and go ride my scooter or run through a sprinkler or something equally as appalling and childish. I mean, someone's got to have some fun in this family!! ☺

So who or what is cramping your style these summer days?

Wishing you freedom, joy and play!!!