I Choose Life

Words from my journal--June, 2005:

I would love to spend another night out here and I realize/I KNOW that it would not be the same without the day. We need both--the bitter and the sweet (the dark and the light). When we have gone to hell and seen it, felt it, lived it--life is much sweeter just as the night's cool and calm contrasts to the heat and chaos of the day. Both/And. The whole package.

They will come in gradations but we need both. The fears will keep me running and reaching for life, lest I ever take life for granted. The bitter and the sweet. The swing of the pendulum. I may never know how far it needs to go to the dark side and often I don't have a choice especially where circumstances are out of my control. But, I can choose for myself how and where I go.

Will I covet and grovel in the pain and fear and anger and self-pity, etc. as I did yesterday? Or will I patiently wait and trust that the cool of the night will come? The heat is turning up as the sun is rising. How will I choose to stay cool?

I Choose Life!

Jesus in Three Lines

Today I was presented with an interesting challenge. I was asked to share my “belief in and relationship with Jesus Christ” in the space of 2 ½ handwritten lines. Lucy really started to rebel and wanted to be quite flip about the whole thing, but seeing as how it was for a high school admissions application for my daughter I decided that “flip” might not be prudent.

So, I did what most normal people would do…I avoided the task. I procrastinated. I did a little journaling, read a few Bible verses and decided I was nearing a reasonable response when my beautiful friend, Lisa called. She and I share much in common with our faith having both grown up in pretty conservative circles and now as we have matured, we each find that simplicity is really what resonates most with us. I posed my predicament to Lisa and she quite simply responded, “When I am faced with describing Jesus I always fall back to unconditional love, acceptance and forgiveness.” Beautiful. Simple. Right on as far as Lisa and I are concerned.

After we hung up I went back to the dreaded form, considered Lisa’s words and my own ponderings and this is what I submitted:

“My relationship with Christ is everlasting, ever-changing and ever-seeking. When I describe Jesus, the words unconditional love, acceptance and forgiveness are foremost in my heart and actions.”

Three lines. Simple. Pure. True. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could see and experience God and life this simply?

Thanks Lisa!

photo - Lisa at Sunrise

the words will not come

the words will not come.
they do not flow like water.
they drip in my mind interrupting solace like a leaky faucet.
they come in ragged, jagged fits and bursts and then
they resist—stop—refuse to congeal and thus
leave me wanting—yearning—aching and unsure of what needs
or wants to be said or heard or read.

my words are insufficient.
cards held close to my vest.
“Thank you but your words are not right for us.”
“Have you tried this or that?”
words of advice slip through the air
and hang like graffiti on a wall.

needing words to communicate—to feel complete.
finding words get in the way.
interpretation.
collision.
mood and mystery.
is there meaning in this text?
mine or yours?

the inner (& sometimes outer) critic speaks.
softly.
loudly.
in fits and spurts.
in screams and sighs.
the words will not come.
And they will not stop.

photo by bill h

Wouldn't it be awesome if...

This post by Jen Lemen is just too good to pass by.

Solitude...Conviction

Northwoods Contemplative's recent post "Solitude of Heart" shares some wonderful words from one of my favorite writers, Henri Nouwen. (I hope you can take the time to read the whole post.) While reading I could not get the song by Kenny Loggins, "Conviction of the Heart" out of my head. The two are linked I believe.

A man or woman who has developed this solitude of heart is no longer pulled apart by the most divergent stimuli of the surrounding world but is able to perceive and understand this world from a quiet inner center. --Henri Nouwen

Do we forget or forgive?
Theres a whole other life waiting to be lived when...
One day we're brave enough
To talk with conviction of the heart. --Kenny Loggins

You can see Loggins perform the whole song here.

I have to wonder if "Solitude of Heart" will not lead to "Conviction of the Heart." I'd love to know what you think.