6 unspectacular things about me

i am very tired and brain dead so this meme from patty seemed totally appropriate for tonight. here are six unspectacular things about me (granted i actually think everything is kind of spectacular in its own way so this was harder than one might think...wink...wink).

1. i have a bachelor's degree in accounting.

2. i grew up in bethany, oklahoma.

3. i love to be in bed by 8:00 p.m. or at least in my p.j.s by then.

4. i prefer popcorn & tortilla chips over chocolate.

5. i am the youngest of 3 children from a middle class family.

6. vanilla milkshakes win out over chocolate every time.

my low energy level (& my rebellious nature) keep me from tagging the requisite six bloggers, so you're on your own to decide if you want to play. please let me know if you do!! thanks for the fun, patty!

photo found here at flickr

You Are the Guru

You are a naturally good counselor. You are inspiring, encouraging, and compassionate. You are eager to help everyone who crosses your path, even those who don't want to be helped. You are a natural healer. People feel at peace when they are with you. You are so good for people, in fact, that they go through withdrawal once you're gone. You quietly do your own thing, without openly resisting. You secretly try to fix every problem. Your biggest regret is not being able to help as many people as you'd like.

What Role Do You Play?

to be known...

One of my biggest hopes AND greatest fears is that I will truly be known by another. It seems that at times people I have known almost my whole life look at me and say, "Who the heck are you ?!?!??!???" Or worse yet, they don't even bother to ask the question. Then there is this crazy world of blogging where 'virtual' friends speak to me as if we were cloned from the same DNA even though we have never set eyes on each other. It is like they are mystics who can read my mind and feel my emotions while they are happening to me. Most special of all, however, are the times when someone you have known for awhile (maybe not even a long while), someone you know "in person" lets you know that they have been paying attention. That they get you. That you have made their world a little brighter even though they have seen you warts and all.

This past week I was blessed with such an honor as friends joined together to help me celebrate my birthday. At the risk of tooting my own horn or Never #4 "boasting of my own accomplishments" (even though I'm not sure being born is considered an accomplishment), I wanted to share the tender words sent to me by a very precious woman.

9.11.08 "On this most blessed of days not too many years ago, a beautiful baby was brought into this world. No one really knew what her path would be, especially this child who had many 'parents' in her Mom & Dad as well as her much older siblings, to guide her path with right & wrong, good enough or not, proper life path, direction, whew! Enough to wear a kid out!

But inside this shiny star, her truth waited for her, patiently. And this girl, young woman, woman, grew & grew and even when she smiled and followed a path not of her choosing, something inside simmered and waited. Through rocky paths and broken promises and choices that hurt her heart. Through the trials and thrills of children, the joy and frustration of marriage, she bravely marched. And inside, still, something asking questions, something waiting to burst forth. And to her great surprise, through the toughest period of her life, the path of destruction and resurrection of her son, came IT. A path that was created and worked on and walked by herself, Lucy, and no matter the hurdles thrown up, inside or outside, She knew, finally and forever, that she is of great value to this world, and what she offers and puts forth is pure and lovely.

And she is loved by her friends and the people whose lives she touches every day. And that feeling in her gut? Well, that's a belly laugh that is full of hope and very contagious! And she spreads that feeling with her heart and her voice and her eyes.

That is my birthday story of Lucy, and I'm stickin to it! I wish for you a day of belly laughs, surprises and knowing that you are loved, by many, including me. :) signed by "Precious"

mixed media collage by lucy

racing the garbage

Yesterday I had a wonderful little “encounter” that I can’t seem to get out of my head and want to share here. I was on my way to work. It was a beautiful sunny morning made all the more delicious because of the gift it is! (At this time of year in Seattle you never know when the sun will disappear and the rain will set in.) Taking full advantage, I hopped on my scooter and headed down the four-lane road. Due to traffic and the not-so-timed lights I found myself stopping and starting quite a bit along with the other cars and in particular a giant garbage truck to my left.

Now imagine this…a little scooter next to a giant smelly garbage truck. Now close your eyes and take a big whiff. Can you smell it? Nice, huh? So, what do you think my instinct was? To get away from the garbage, of course! And so we played this cat and mouse game for a couple of stoplights until I found myself giggling to realize the imagery (& reality) that I was 'racing the garbage.'

Oh, what a metaphor for life!!! Isn’t that what we do all of the time? Race around trying to get away from the garbage!! Sometimes we feel as tiny as a scooter next to a mammoth pile of you-know-what and we go to great lengths to get away from it rather than consider “smelling” things in a new way. And my giggles? Well, I decided to enjoy the sunshine and laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation rather than putting myself in harms way or letting the “smell” ruin my day. I am still chuckling and I have an amazing collage brewing in my mind ☺. hee hee hee.

So, what garbage are you racing today? How will you choose to smell it? Plug your nose? Inhale deeply? Laugh?

I hope you have a grand week. I will be off doing my Soltura thing. I have a couple of posts that will pop up over the next few days, so please stop by. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to respond to comments until I am back, but I will be reading them so please say “hi!”

what are your "nevers"?

“My hands hold safely to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am”

--Barlow Girl “Surrender”

Yesterday I wrote about being alive and inside that post were many questions about what holds me back. This morning as I awakened really early I could feel the promptings of the still small voice. I lay in bed with images of art and activities pouring through my mind. Finally I surrendered to the morning and got out of my cozy bed even though it was still pitch dark outside. I gathered my journal and tiptoed downstairs so as not to wake my sleeping husband and then I began to write. The lists of the day tumbled onto the paper mixed in with all of those questions of why I hold back when it comes to art—to MY art.

I have great plans. I have books to help me, supplies to use, ideas in abundance, but still I wait. “It will be a waste of time.. money…effort.” And then there is the flip side of the story. I am impatient. I want to hurry the process…to get to the end result and not let the art create me. Yikes! Sometimes I feel like such a mess!!

And so, I wrote and wrestled and this little voice kept saying, “Go paste the page onto the board.” (Several weeks ago I bought new supplies for creating and have tentatively been considering working with them. The board has been painted in a couple of colors and a few days ago I started considering adding text.) In the midst of all of my wrestling was another train of thought to “practice saying yes”--a theme I have been enjoying in Patti Digh’s new book. So, even while I am writing about “saying yes” I am ignoring the prompts to “paste the text on the board”. I am saying “no” to my art—again! And then God in all of her creative graciousness prompted me a little more directly—my pen ran out of ink—my last words being, “Go paste the page…” ☺

Now God gets even pushier here. I went to the book that I have designated as my “practice” pages (i.e. I can tear it up with great abandon.) It is a really heady book (not), called “The Devil in the Junior League.” ☺ I recalled it contained a few lists and since lists seem to be a theme for me these days I hopped right on it. Not paying much regard to the list content, I tore out a page and then pared it down to a manageable size and began to apply acrylic medium. When I flipped it over to paste the back, this is what I found:

“Unwilling to share any of that, I launched into the points that my mother and the charming women at Little Miss Debutante had drummed into my head, otherwise known as the Four Nevers:

1. Never dominate a conversation.
2. Never speak in a voice that can be heard more than three feet away.
3. Never do anything that anyone would notice if they were more than three feet away.
4. Never boast of your accomplishments.”

It might as well have included one more that said, “NEVER MAKE ART!” It was like all of the voices of my past (and evidently present) were rolled into one and printed on that page that I had chosen “by accident.” And so, after a few deep breaths, a couple of tears and a good laugh with God, I tiptoed back upstairs to get my computer so I could record this little encounter (and capture the words of “the page”, because you never know what may happen next with that little piece of art.)

And, the promptings did not end there, of course!! My computer screensaver is a nifty little thing that randomly displays album covers from my i-tunes list. I noticed a cover by Barlow Girl and wondered what music she sings. (I have lots of music given to me and rarely do I remember artists or song titles unlike my dear husband who can recall every song he has heard since 1960 ☺.) So, I found Barlow Girl’s one song I own and it, of course, is titled “Surrender.” Need I say more?

I would love to hear your response to my morning’s events or even better your own encounters and wrestlings with the inner critic, God, art, whatever! Or maybe you would like to share your personal “Four Nevers?” I hope you will say, "Yes!"

photos from pere lachaise cemetary--paris, 2.08