Simple as a Love Song

"I was four years old. I was playing, alone, in a thicket of trees and bushes. A moment came when there was sound and silence at the same time. I became exquisitely aware of the breeze through the leaves, of the sunlight dappling across the earth in front of me. I understood that this was an experience of God in me and around me. It was strange and familiar at the same time, and it was the simplest thing in the world." from Tess at Anchors and Masts

Simple as a love song from God. We spend our lives trying to learn the notes of that song. Desiring to be purely seen and heard. To be enwrapped in arms that hold and love us. To become exquisitely aware of all that surrounds and encapsulates who we are. The longing. The desire. Everyone loves a love story. You know the ones…where eyes lock, energy charges and the lovers are known without pretense—without all the if-you-really-knew-me-you-wouldn’t-love-me stuff. In an instant barriers are overcome and magic happens.

It may only be a split second where everything else in the world disappears and you know you are loved. Your heart sings the love song. You experience God’s presence. You know He, She, Me exists. People spend a lifetime searching for that feeling, but it seems that you cannot find it when you work at it. You can only open heart, mind, and soul to the experience. It often comes when and where you least expect it. A stranger on the street. A child. A film or book. The words of poetry. The dancing of butterflies. The breeze through the leaves. A broken heart.

It may take a lifetime to find your own song, but when you experience it you know that you have found heaven on earth and it is something you will never forget it.

“Heaven is right here in front of me: Heaven, Heaven!” It only lasted a moment: but it left a breathless joy and a clean peace and happiness that stayed for hours and it was something I have never forgotten.” –Thomas Merton, The Seven Storey Mountain

photo by bill

The "And" is always nearby...

Of magic doors there is this, you do not see them even as you are passing through.
--Anonymous

It is night time. Evening. The end of a busy week. Come and gone. Filled with goodness and richness. Still, I am tired. A strong need to restore. Refresh. Rejuvenate. It takes energy to live out loud. AND in the moment, it takes no energy at all. My cup overflows. Friendship. Conversation. Engagement. Music. Sunshine. Scooter rides. Being present to the moment. Lovely and true. My world expanding. Friends. Work. The world at large. Strangers on the street. Engaging. Listening. Loving.

No ordinary moments. All come together in perfect timing and perfect harmony. Not pressing, just letting things happen in the midst of the busyness. AND, I miss my quiet time. My rest. The place where I find peace and solace with myself—for myself. I need me. I love that I do not need others to define who I am AND I love the engagement and realness of being with others.

Sometimes the realness of being with others can be overwhelming and takes me by surprise. Simple spoken words or gestures bring tears to my eyes. The gentle touch of a hug gives peace to a deep place in my soul. A complement confirms my own delight. AND the biting words or cold silence of another threaten to send me into a tailspin. The "and" is always nearby. No ordinary moments.

It is morning now and I am grateful for a little time to rest, reflect and write. The beginning of a new day. Freshly arrived. Waiting to be filled. And...

photo by bill

The Rabbit Trail of my Mind

Oh, the rabbit trail of my mind ☺. I am on information overload and I don’t even own a television or currently subscribe to the newspaper. It all started today with a little contemplation and solitude. Sounds good, right? But, oh, the doors that open when I sit down with pen in hand and computer nearby. My personal thoughts are enough to make an average monkey mind appear serene. How has this happened? All when I thought I was getting a grip on my mind spinning tendencies and relaxing into quiet time and rest.

For some reason I was prompted to explore Psalm 13 and verse 2 managed to pop out at me. “How long shall I take counsel in my soul, Having sorrow in my heart all the day?” (NAS version). I was concerned that the verse alluded to me listening more to myself than to God, but other translations led me to think that the verse referred to an anxious mind which did not feel relevant to me today. Then “Pow” the next thing I know, my mind is racing with the issues of the world and just like that serenity is gone and sorrow for the world has entered.

So, what do worm castings, global warming, organic gardening, Charlotte’s Web and lighting the Dafur wall have in common? Throw in the homeless person on the corner and a decision whether to purchase a latte at Starbucks or try to find an independent barista who sells fair trade coffee and my morning walk (which was my next step toward trying to regain calm) turned into even more food for fodder. It is all too much! As I said at the beginning, it is information overload and today the topic seems to be our collapsing world.

While I consider myself to be a pretty conscientious person, I have never fully embraced the total “tree hugger” mentality that met me head on 18 years ago when I moved to Seattle from Oklahoma. My conservative roots run pretty deep and while a few years ago I did break down and buy Birkenstocks (floral not basic brown), I still pretty much insist on shaving my legs and armpits (time allowing) and have a hard time considering myself as an angry in-your-face activist such as the cloth diaper pushing moms I met when I was pregnant with my now 18 year old son.

But, just as my theological world view has shifted from one of an evangelical/fundamental outlook to one that is more emergent and postmodern, I am finding that I can no longer ignore the person on the street corner or easily throw plastic into the garbage bin rather than recycle. (And I must admit, even though I was somewhat bullied into it, I am happy to say that I primarily used cloth diapers for my kids.) I have started riding the bus and walking where I can rather than driving and I am feeling pretty guilty about that container of chemical weed killer sitting in my garage.

And, just when I was starting to hyperventilate and think that one person, one family, cannot begin to make a dent in the hurt, the hunger, the global warming, the pain, the….you get the picture, God in the way only God can do showed me these words from Brian McLaren’s a Generous Orthodoxy in his chapter “Why I Am Green.”

“Just caring is a good start. That’s a real start. Who knows where it could lead.”

Okay. Deep sigh. My mind is a little calmer now and sharing even these words feels like a start. So, to return back to worm castings, global warming, etc. I shall share a bit of my brain’s rabbit trail.

Check out Rosa Gallica Lifestyle for gardening tips with worm castings and other environmentally friendly topics.

Krista Tippett has a great interview with author, Barbara Kingsolver on her new book,Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, about eating locally and better.

E.B. White's, Charlotte's Web—the book and movie are fabulous. Julia Roberts (as Charlotte) makes a great case for treating spiders kindly.

And, Tess, brought this project for lighting the Dafur wall to my attention.

In closing, I leave you with the wisdom of Kermit the Frog: It's not easy being green.

Young at Heart

The playful side of Lucy is bursting at the seams these days. Possibly it is the amazing Seattle weather or the refreshment of returning from a fabulous vacation. It could be that my year of celebrating "50" is rapidly coming to a close and I want to capture every moment of delight before that next milestone comes around.

Quotes like "youth is wasted on the young," "how old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?" and "you don't quit playing because you grow old. you grow old because you quit playing" run through my head.

I want to play. I want to dance. I want to ride with the wind on my face and the feel of warm sunshine on my skin. I want to bloom and grow and blossom. I want to know the power of being me--shining, laughing star that I am. Lovely. Kind. Free.

Abbey of the Arts (who is also in a playful mood) reminded me of a wonderful poem by Lynn Ungar and particularly the following line:

“Imagine setting it all down—
papers, plans, appointments, everything,
leaving only a note: “Gone to the fields
to be lovely.
Be back when I’m through
with blooming.”

Mark Nepo says of blooming, "The simple rose, at each moment of its slow blossoming, is as open as it can be." I am reminded that I can be no more nor less of who I am at this very moment. Thus, I will embrace this day for what it is and who I am as I carry with me thoughts of laughter and play, youth and aging, blooming and slow blossoming."

"Gone to the fields to be lovely." Care to join me?

photos by bill. bermuda 2007

Lists

The last few days I have woken up with lists running through my head. Why lists? Why not poetry or even prose? We live by lists. Do this. Do that. You are not successful if you don’t get things done. What defines “things”? What defines “success”?

Slowly this morning my list shifted away from ‘to do’s’ and toward ‘must do’s’. Watching a beautiful sunset. Listening to my dog breathe. Breathing myself. Stopping to smell the roses. Moving my body freely not always with intention or purpose. Listening to God. Prayer. Constant, ongoing, everlasting prayer in the way I live—the way I simply be.

Emerging. Moving outward. Why do we hide? Why do we hold back? Sunrise Sister posed the question “Why do we always cry at the happy moments?” Tears are a release of emotion. We hold too much inside and our hearts are created to live not hold back. Tears are sacred and beautiful. They are meant to be used. They wash away sorrow and make room for peace, joy and happiness.

To pursue happiness, we find ways to allow space and make room for it to find us. And so, we write our lists and mark them off—not to be successful in the worldly sense—not to show how much we have accomplished, but to make space for joy and living.

Sure there is still joy in completion of a task, a pat on the back, a line through a job well done, but for what am I making space? Hopefully, not more lists! So, I ponder this question today: What do I really have to do? Simply speaking, the list is quite short.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind. And love your neighbor as you love yourself.” Luke 10:27

So, what’s on your list today?

image from here