Ocean of Desire

jelly photo from public domain

I see you. I am happy. I start swimming toward you, but the current is hard.
Danger. There are beautiful glistening orbs. Jellyfish flash in the sunlight. Danger. Danger.
But I want to be with you. To celebrate with you.
My desire is for you. Is it in vain? Will it be answered?

I keep swimming toward you. Deterred by the sting of the jellyfish—the man ‘o war.
I can’t get to you. The current is strong—causing me to tire. My arms give out, then my legs and finally my heart. It is too hard. The pain is excruciating.

I can see you. I am quite near, but I cannot touch you.
The tears come. Tears of frustration and tears of sorrow.
I do not want to shed tears to be with you. I want to spread my light.
I want you to see my brilliance, my overflowing joy.

Yet the ocean is filled with my tears and a cloud descends to hide my brilliance.
I cannot reach you. The cloud is in the way.
It is an old and far-reaching cloud. One that existed before my time and now creeps into our time.

Occasionally my brilliance—my light—peeks through the cloud and casts a beam of light across your face.
It is the face that I love.
But something about the light is too much and the cloud closes back in and shuts out the light.

The barrier is in tact. The jellyfish are invisible in the dark sea. Their sting is strong but not fatal.

Can the sting be fatal or will I continue to swim the current again and again—seeking your face in the darkness-
Wanting to dance. To celebrate. To leap across the waves with you.
That is my desire. To rise above the waves and the clouds. To be out of reach of the man ‘o war.

I am not your enemy. I am your love. Swim to meet me before my arms fail me and I sink to the ocean floor.
Dance with me. Celebrate with me. That is my desire.

Orchard

My branches are weary. They are heavy with fruit that has not ripened--
Like berries that grow to mammoth size yet have no taste.

My burden feels like it will never let go—never ripen. It is hard to see the sweetness of the fruit when the weight is so heavy.

Is the goodness I feel in these days, the pruning of the Lord? Is it the lightening of my load? The tension is heavy and hard. The weight bears down but just before the branch breaks under the weight, I am pruned and the heaviness lifts for a moment.

Is this ‘lifting’ the sweet fruit that is shared with others—my burden raised, as they taste the fruit of harvest?

What does it mean to bear fruit? I don’t want to have the largest crop. The cost is too high. Yet the harvest is great and lives are touched through my bounty. It is bounty born on the tides of pain and suffering.

The storms and winds have pounded the orchard and yet the trees and branches hold firm.
Today, the sun shines, pulling moisture from the ground to bring back balance after the relentless days of rain and darkness.

The Lord is my master gardener. He knows when I need to be tended and when I need to be left alone. He knows when the fruit is ripe and ready to eat. And he knows when it will be nourishing even though I try to eat or share it before it is sweet.
Sometimes I must taste the tartness.

My branches are strong. They will continue to grow and bear much fruit. Relish the rain and the sunshine for both are needed to nurture the orchard.

If I Bring Myself

If I bring myself to you will you rise to meet me or will you flee in fear?
Worse yet, will you advance with attack and retaliation—flinging harm into my face & heart,
using my truth & beauty as weapons against my soul?

“Stand firm,” my heart speaks out. The truth is real.
Stand firm & gently in your beauty.
It will terrify some. They will seek to harm—lashing out with tongues dipped in poison.
But, the poison will turn back to them to be ingested.

You are strong and pure—able to metabolize the poison. Your beauty is not too much.
The truth in your soul is yours and yours alone. Perfectly created & designed; snug inside its cocoon, metamorphosing daily, renewed in the Spirit.

A snake’s venom cannot reach the floating butterfly. Therefore,
Fly away for a time. Rest and feel the wind beneath your wings. Soar.
Remembering the return will be necessary—crucial.
A cocoon is needed for a season not a lifetime.

Spread your wings and share your beauty. It is not too much.

photo by bill hughlett

Diamonds on the Sea

Our lives are filled with beauty, joy & sorrow.
The sorrow enfolds heartache.
Still I cherish your faces in the heartache of my day.
The memory of your voices lifted in song carries me to the sky.
Your tears & laughter fill me with love.

The chains of sadness have been broken & no longer ensnare me.
Their hold is like pesky yarn that occasionally entangles me.
The fear of darkness has faded & the light is glorious.
I see the glow reflecting on the water & gleaming upon the sand.
The waves of life continue to ebb & flow as our lives sparkle on the surface like diamonds.

We are forever entwined, inseparable like drops of water filling the ocean.
Where does one life begin & another end?
They cannot be separated.
We know our tears could fill the ocean, but our joy can lift the sails of 100 parachutes!

Let us remember that we can fly & we need not—must not—drown in sorrow.
The sorrow is sweet because it reminds us from where we have come.
Let it remain sweet & not turn bitter.
Let us drink pure fresh water each day all the while knowing…
the bile may rise again in our throats & need to be expelled from our bodies.

We have come full circle…experienced the richness of life.
Let us live life to the fullest never being afraid to take risks or embrace sorrow.
Without the depths of sorrow, we can never experience the height of joy.
We cannot soar like eagles.
There is no momentum for lift off, if we remain inert on the ground.

Life is a trajectory—it must be—otherwise we slowly, sadly melt into the landscape & disappear.
Our Beauty goes unnoticed when we live in fear.
Therefore, embrace sorrow & joy.
Let the emotions have their way and...
Together, let us sparkle like diamonds on the sea.

photo by bill hughlett