Doggie Poo and You

It may be the irreverent part of me or my own impish little girl, but I roared with laughter upon reading a client's tale about her granddaughter rolling around in dog poop. The story is the exact opposite of propriety and sounds downright icky on the base level. Doesn’t society suggest that we’re supposed to always stay clean and tidy and/or be the prim grandmother in sensible shoes reading Mother Goose by the fire to our pink-cheeked offspring? Who says those things have to be true?

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Knowing When to Ask for Help

My pondering has taken on a new level of exaggeration these past weeks as I tap into the thoughts, feelings, and emotions surrounding the promotional aspects of being a self-published author. As I’ve perused books, websites, and media expert information, I’ve felt like a seasick sailor in the midst of a typhoon. Green at the gills and seeking solid land, I’ve deciphered enough to know that it’s definitely not a positive sign when thinking about marketing your beloved product results in a tightened chest, violently churning insides, and a strong impulse to throw up.

Walla Walla Book Event

While I can candidly declare that I am competent in a number of arenas, there is never-the-less a voice in my head (and stomach) that says, “Leave the marketing to someone else.” There is naught like the mechanics of unsolicited self-promotion to turn my insides out and make me flee for shelter or cower under the covers. Please don’t get me wrong... I absolutely adore sharing stories, connecting with people, speaking on a welcoming stage, or engaging in an intimate one-on-one conversation. But the thought of walking into one more independent bookstore and having a clerk stroll away with a sneer on her face and As I Lay Pondering held between two fingers as if it were a dirty diaper turns my skin cold. Seriously... diving into Puget Sound midwinter without a wetsuit feels more inviting to me.

Now, anyone who has known me for even a brief period of time understands I have little aversion to taking risks. In fact, it joyously tops my ongoing to do list...

Take A Risk Every Day

...but I have also come to learn there is a laudable difference between taking risks that propel me forward and  those that push my heart begrudgingly into areas that leave my essential self feeling disturbingly icky. Even though I am a rockin’ coach, it is rarely wise to practice my skills on my loved ones. I am typically too invested in the outcome to be objective. Likewise, I’ve determined that exclusively promoting my own book is akin to being the sole counselor for my family. I am entirely too close to the subject. Misunderstandings are inevitable, feelings will get hurt, and unflattering barfing may ensue.

Further down on my list-to-live-by is another premise that I have a tendency to overlook.

Know When to Ask for Help!

I was raised to be an independent woman and asking for help can be a challenge. It is both blessing and curse to know myself as competent in my own right. Navigating this new marketing territory is clearly possible, but leaves me with a daunting feeling and the declaration, I don’t wanna! That’s clearly how I feel about taking the next promotional step(s) alone... I don’t wanna!! Therefore...

It’s time for me to take a risk, put my independent ego aside, and ask for help! Today I’m turning this plea over to the Universe. Call it prayer, intention setting, dream making, wish casting, whatever you like, but I’m releasing it out into the Great Unknown. And since I’m choosing not to go it alone, let me ask you this...

·      What projects make you turn ‘green at the gills’?

·      Are you compelled to disregard the potential warning signs and push on through?

·      If yes, consider why.

·      What does risk taking entail for you?

·      Do you know when (or how) to ask for help?

·      Feel free to practice alongside me by putting your needs and desires out into the world.

    Together we can see what happens!

·      Ready. Set. Go!!!

Wanted: Ideal advocate for As I Lay Pondering: daily invitations to live a transformed life. Must be articulate, energetic, and marketing knowledgeable (or excited and willing to learn). A promoter of passions with excellent tools and the skills to implement them.

Excited to work together and find perfect ways to extend our mutual energy and efforts. Reasonably priced and ready to make things happen. Passionate about my book, work, and what I have to offer the world. We connect seamlessly and complement each other well. Loves marketing and promotional work, is a self-starter, and not overbearing. Compassionate, generous, an excellent listener, and a well-connected connector.

When she/he arrives the weight drops from my shoulders and the gnawing in my stomach releases. Life moves forward with ease and satisfaction. It feels effortless... yes, effortless.

Companioning and marketing with ease... that’s what I want!! Okay, Universe. Ready. Set. Go!!!

Pondering... 30 in 30 - Day 24

"In human life as in the rest of nature, change accumulates slowly and almost invisibly until it is made manifest in the sudden form of fledging out or thawing or leaf-fall." -- William Bridges



Just as summer has finally arrived in the Pacific Northwest and will now begin to shift toward autumn, change has been progressively accumulating at diamonds in the soul. In January, I announced my words for the year: refine and expand. Not knowing where they would lead (but nonetheless knowing them to be essential), I continued the ongoing journey of transformation by listening deeply to my personal calling.



As a young woman, I was steered toward a "practical and stable" career in accounting and away from my curiosity in psychology and sociology. I played by other people's rules, proceeded the best I could with limited self-awareness, and continually set aside the place deep in my heart that knew my life was meant for more than numbers and schedules.



At a time when my peers were "calling it good" and beginning to look toward retirement, I chose to pursue a fresh career and garnered my masters in counseling psychology. For the past several years my desire has been met (and continues to be) walking alongside others as they move toward their most authentic lives. In the spirit of refining and expanding, I have spent the past nine months immersed in further study of this passion and expertise. It has involved difficult choices, exciting risks and lots of hard work. It has been a wonderful time of fledging out and stepping more fully into my heart's desire.



The pull has been to gently shift my focus away from intensive psychotherapy (with it's roots in acutely understanding the past), and move toward more life coaching, writing and experience facilitation. For me, these disciplines incorporate our essential understanding of where we've been, bring focus to our current experience and allow personal dreams to begin manifesting now. My practice continues to incorporate spirituality, creativity, a profound respect for self-care and the understanding of human growth and development. My hope is to connect with others like myself who desire to discover and live life to their personal fullest. I hope you will consider joining me and stepping closer to your dreams today!



Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people recover and nourish personal delight & joy in life.

Pondering... 30 in 30 - Day 9

Old Brain



There is a voice inside our heads that, believe it or not, usually wants to help. It comes from the places of old and is reptilian in nature. Karen Armstrong simply calls it “old brain.” Martha Beck names it our “lizard.” It also goes by such pseudonyms as the inner critic, devil on your shoulder, or possibly your mother. It is the voice that keeps us in check and goes back to primordial times when all we needed was to be safe, fed and procreate. Since there are no saber-toothed tigers stalking us today, our brain has a tendency to make stuff up that emulates danger.



Since it is an old brain, it is both sophisticated and naive in a very primitive way. My inner critic says things like Who do you think you are? No one will read this drivel! Stop while you’re ahead, fool. It doesn’t sound very helpful, does it? I want to shout back and name call, too, in a display of my own unevolved self. Experience, however, demonstrates that what we resist persists. Fighting, pushing, ignoring and shouting back – all feel like resistance to me. Perhaps a new tactic is in order. Pause. Breathe. Listen a little more closely.



Hey, Lizard, what do you really want? Like a sultry teenager or a petulant child, she pouts and whines and calls me more names. By engaging in the name-calling, the drama escalates and no one wins, so I choose to listen a little more deeply. What she really wants is to simply keep me safe. By convincing me to back off from my goals which entail taking risk, she thinks she’s performing her job successfully. Counterintuitive to my basic instincts to battle her, I’ve noticed responding with laughter, kindness, humility and confidence is much more effective in quieting down this petulant child.



What do you really want? Could there be something helpful beneath all that brain noise? Probing a little deeper, I understand my lizard also wants to be heard – just like me. Hmmm. Perhaps a compassionate bent is the best choice, even though placing my fingers in my ears and screaming, “I can’t hear you” can be quite appealing. Petulance or compassion – which will I choose today?



Today's ponder is inspired by Laura S. Her prompt: How does our inner critic serve us, and how do we best relieve her of her duties?



photo © h3images



Prizes for you... Inspiration for me... Check it out!!!

Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.

Prizes for YOU... Inspiration for ME...

Today I return refreshed, renewed and inspired after unplugging and luxuriating in a solid week of pure heaven. No cell phones, internet, or Facebook. No meals to cook or beds to make. Dancing in the morning. Writing in the afternoon. Laughing and strolling through the warm summer evenings. A gentle schedule provided with the encouragement to ask the question moment by moment: What do I want? This beauty was enhanced by the surrounding wisdom and spirit of 30 vast, varied and like-minded souls as we found ourselves tucked into the high desert of Taos, New Mexico residing in a retreat center that has nurtured such greats as Georgia O’Keefe, Ansel Adams, Natalie Goldberg and Jennifer Louden.

Lest the afterglow drift away like stars disappearing on a cloudy night, I am delighted to share one of my fabulous brainstorms from the week away. Even though it was hatched at 4:30 a.m. while snuggled in the bathtub with pillows, pen and pad, I believe it still holds water. Everyone loves a contest, right? So, here it is: A pondering contest. Prizes for you. Continued Inspiration for me.

MY CHALLENGE: 30 posts in 30 days. For the next 30 days I will post a new "pondering" on Diamonds in the Sky with Lucy. This is to inspire and encourage the completion of my extraordinary writing project: Pondering - 365 days of reflection through metaphor, life experience and the practice of presence.

YOUR CHALLENGE: It's simple. Send me a topic to ponder and you become eligible for one of three fantastic prizes. Your entry can be in the form of a question, word, idea, thought or anything you'd like to see explored through my unique lens. Topics will be accepted via blog comments, email, Facebook comments and, in some cases, telepathic methods. (wink wink)

PRIZES: Everyone who sends in a topic for consideration will be entered in a drawing for these fabulous prizes:

• First prize: One hour of coaching with yours truly.
• Second prize: Six original notecards or one 12" x 18" print by fabulous photographer, Bill Hughlett.
• Third prize: Autographed first edition copy of Grace Unbound - a collection of musings and photos by Kayce & Bill Hughlett

DETAILS: Entries will be accepted throughout the month of August, however, only entries received between now and August 14, will be eligible for prizes.

Topics selected for use will be entered into the drawing twice. If you'd like to be acknowledged as the "ponder prompter" when your selection is used, please let me know. I'm happy to link to websites and other blogs. Please note: there are no guarantees you will recognize your prompt once it travels through my mind sieve. (e.g. a prompt on potatoes could end up being about wrecked rental cars.)

ACT NOW! It's a win-win situation. Prizes for you and inspiration for me!! Woohoo!!!

Diamonds in the Soul - helping high-functioning, under-living people uncover & maintain personal delight & joy in life.